Division of the Heart
by kenmaslow
Summary: Kendall Knight had no idea how two different person could have too many similarities. Shane Adams, his lover who left 5 years ago and James Diamond, the successful young CEO. How it could happen?
1. Chapter 1

_**Hi guys! This is my first fic. I posted this story on wattpad but since I got my fanfiction account back so I thought I'd post here too. **_

_**This is an AU fan fiction. It means Big Time Rush and their relationships don't exist. **_

_**I hope all of you beautiful people like my story. Please rate and review, it means a lot for me. **_

_**Thanks! **_

"Seriously, Mom..." Kendall groaned, "I'm fine. I don't need staying here." He grumbled, begging to his Mom.

Jennifer Knight gave her one and only son a thin smile, right hand extended to cares her son's head, "Sweety, it's just a week, okay?"

Kendall's mouth pouted, "A week is not an only. It's a long time. How can I explain to my friends?" he stared at her harshly, "Hey, guys. I won't be home for a week because I have depression and I need to stay here until I get better." He mocked as he talked to his friends.

His Mom laughed, "Stop mocking, Kendall Knight. It's only a week."

Kendall let out a deep sigh. He lost. He couldn't be won from his Mom, worse, from doctors, "Alright," He nodded, "Just a week. No more."

Jennifer pulled her son into her warm hug, "See you next week." Before she walked out from inpatient room, she kissed Kendall's forehead, long and soft.

"Bye, Mom. Take care." Kendall smiled as he watched his Mom walked out from his room.

Now he's all alone. He looked around at the empty and cold hospital room. The reason why he _forced _to stay here because he had depression and his therapist felt needed for Kendall stayed here. What caused the depression? Kendall's Dad died 3 months ago and Kendall couldn't help himself. He loved his parents so much, more than anything. He was really close to his Dad like a best friend and to admit now he's gone was really hard for Kendall.

Kendall threw his body into a bed. It's just 10 minutes or so but he's already in a deadly boring situation. There's no TV, no iPhone, nothing. It's just a room with bed, sofa, bathroom and drawer.

Someone knocked the door and later on a nurse showed up. She smiled and gave Kendall a small pill.

"What is it?" he asked before swallow it into his body.

She handed him a glass of water, "A sedative, for you to take once a day. Take some sleep, Kendall."

He sighed, "It's too early to get sleep..." he murmured, "Uh... can I walk to a park or other places here? I'm bored."

She nodded, "If you promise you won't escape."

Kendall rolled his eyes, "How can I escape when you put a sensor on my foot like a prisoner?" he grumbled.

"Trust me, it's for your own good." She smiled, "Make sure you come back at 10. It's your sleep time." She answered before got out from Kendall's room.

Kendall sighed. He only had one hour to catch fresh air - fresh as an air in hospital, very fresh. He took his varsity jacket and gray beanie then made his way to get out from his room. The hospital hallway was really creepy. Not a dark and empty hallway, otherwise it's bright and nurses walking back and forth. What made it creepy was the way people stare at him, like he's abandoned to walk alone.

Kendall had no idea where he wanted to go until he saw a park. The teen's hospital building actually had a really cool park like how Los Angeles's parks. The decoration was pretty cool with graffiti and skateboarding track. Kendall felt sarcastic about the skateboarding track, are they - doctors and nurses - really let their patients play skateboard?

He sat on the bench under the Eek Tree. He raised his head up to see the clear sky. He hoped there were stars. He always loves stars. His mind ran randomly in moments he had with his Dad. They once stargazing on a hidden hill in Los Angeles and that's cool. His Dad talked so much, telling him his teen's life which was really weird for Kendall as a modern version of his Dad.

Donald Knight was a lovely caring man and Kendall grateful to be his son. He was a successful CEO of Knight & Co - which now running by his Mom - who always has time for his family, especially for his son. The fact that he died and left Kendall was the least thing Kendall had to admit. No, Kendall didn't cry when he heard his Dad died in car accident. No, Kendall didn't cry at the funeral. No, Kendall didn't cry at all, but deep inside his heart, he's dying. He's dying because for some reasons, God took his Dad away from him and his Mom.

Kendall knew he had to let him go, but hell, that's fucking hard.

He looked around the park, hoping he could do something to get his Dad out from his mind. There's none here. Maybe he better got back to his room. He stood up and walked back to the hallway, but he accidentally slipped out on a rock and crashed someone.

"Aw..."

They both landed on the grass. Kendall opened his eyes. He should be the one who landed on the grass but he wasn't, the brunet pale boy was.

"Sorry!" Kendall rushed to get himself stood back and extended his hand to help the brunet.

The other boy laughed, "You're surprisingly pretty heavy," he took Kendall's offer to get back on his feet.

Kendall grinned. He saw the brunet was already in his hospital pajama but he wore a brown cardigan for some coat, "Sorry. Did you hurt?"

"No," the brunet shook his head, "Did you?"

"I'm not the person who landed on the dirty grass, so... I'm good." Kendall let out a relief sigh. The brunet is a patient and Kendall just dropped his body on a patient. It could be caused some serious problem.

The brunet smiled, showing his white and perfect teeth, "No problem."

Kendall's eyeball caught a drawing book, the brunet must be dropped it while they're crashed. He bended to take the drawing book and gave it back to the brunet, "It must be yours."

"Thanks," the brunet nodded, "I never see you here. You're new?"

Okay. There's a problem. The brunet asked him _'you're new' _as they were at school, like this wasn't a strange place. _Dude, this is hospital!_

"Yeah," Kendall nodded, hand touched back of his neck, "Just check in an hour ago."

The brunet chuckled, "Why are you here?"

Kendall gasped, "Uh..." he wasn't sure how to answer.

_I'm here because depression_. Seriously, is that a good answer?

The brunet smiled, "I know. You don't have to answer it if you're not ready yet."

"Cool." Kendall nodded, "Why are you here?" he asked him back.

"Leukemia," The brunet answered in a calm tone like he didn't mention a serious illness.

Kendall almost dropped his jaws. The brunet seemed fine - he's taller than him, his brunet hair was a good haircut, and _damn, he's fucking handsome._

"Don't feel sorry for me," the brunet signed him to follow him to the bench, "I'm perfectly fine, it's only my blood."

_Only?_

Kendall nodded. He had no idea how to respond. "You like drawing?" he pointed to the brunet's drawing book.

He nodded, "A lot. It's the only way to kill the time here. I can't play music in this time so drawing is the best option."

"You play music? What do you play?" Kendall sat next to him.

In this distance, Kendall could smell the brunet's natural musk and his perfume or cologne, or whatever it was but it's really tempting and smells really good.

"I play guitar and piano but mostly piano," the brunet opened his drawing book page by page, searching the empty one, "Do you play?"

"Guitar, I play guitar and also a vocalist on my band."

Kendall didn't realize that this boy had the most beautiful hazel eyes until they're widened as the brunet heard Kendall's answer, "You have a band? Wow!"

"Yeah," Kendall nodded, proudly, "Unfortunately I'm ended up here."

The brunet smiled, "I'm sure you're only a week or so here. Am I right?"

Kendall wasn't sure why this boy attractive so much - other than his incredibly handsome face and his character.

"A week, how did you know?"

He chuckled, "Because you're fine. You just need a little help."

Okay, the brunet must be knew something more than Kendall thought, "You know why am I here?"

"Yes," the brunet nodded in a certainty, "Depression."

Kendall sighed, "Geez... you must be a therapist."

"I met many people here," the brunet gave him better answer, "People like you, which were really fine, will get better really soon. Trust me, you're perfectly fine." He talked without seeing Kendall, draw something on his drawing book.

Kendall stared at a pair of hazel eyes. There's something about this boy which invited him in.

He wanted to know more about this boy.

"I'm Kendall."

The brunet raised his head and gave him a soft smile, "I'm Shane."

Kendall smiled, "Don't you need more time to rest?" he checked his watch, it's almost ten, "I should get back to my room at 10. I guess you're too, right? Nurse said it's my sleep time."

Shane nodded, "Yeah, I'll get back to my room after I draw something."

"You won't get any trouble?"

Shane shrugged, "Guess, I already in a trouble now."

Kendall felt guilty, "Sorry, didn't mean to..."

"No," Shane shook his head, "Stop saying sorry to me, Kendall. Hey, are you sleepy?"

Kendall had no idea why Shane asked about that but he answered it anyway, "Nope. I'm wide awake. Why?"

Shane closed his drawing book, "I have a cool place to show you." he suddenly stood up, "Come on!"

Kendall followed the brunet to the hallway. They turned to the emergency exit and made their way to the stairs, reached up to the top of building. Shane opened another red door and waited Kendall to walk in first.

"Roof?" Kendall asked in disbelieve.

Shane put his hand around Kendall's shoulder, "Come on, don't be sarcastic. You'll like it!"

Kendall rolled his eyes. He didn't believe he followed an order from a boy he just met.

But that boy was right.

It's only a usual building roof but the view was unusual. It's LA. From here, they could see the beautiful LA scenery - LA night life. The light, the clear sky, the buildings, everything mixed up beautifully.

Kendall turned his head to see the brunet who standing next to him. That's even more beautiful. Shane's face with a bright and cheerful smile, beautiful hazel eyes locking on the view, hair messed up by the wind.

_Damn._

_Is it love at the first sight?_


	2. Chapter 2

"Kendall, wake up!" Shane squeezed Kendall's shoulders roughly, tried his best to wake the blond. Kendall murmured something unclear, still closed his eyes. Shane gave him another squeeze hoping the blond could wake up now.

"Kendall, we're falling asleep. We're in so much trouble!" Shane's statement made Kendall opened his eyes, shocked, "Damn! Dude, you made me in trouble!" Kendall stood up, reached his beanie on the floor and put it back on his head, covered the dirty hair.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. We shouldn't fall asleep here, come on! It's not too late to get back to our room." Shane grabbed Kendall's hand and pulled it softly as a sign to follow him.

"Where's your room?" Shane asked without turned his head back to see Kendall behind him.

"372," Kendall answered in unsure tone. He really had trouble with remember something, especially something that he thinks didn't even matter.

Shane nodded, "Good, it close from here."

"How about your room?" Kendall asked him back. He stared at Shane's brunet hair, it messy – bed hair – but it mess beautifully. He suddenly remembered Shane's face when the brunet woke him up. His perfect teeth, pink lips, hazel eyes, Kendall could easily woke up to this every day.

_Wait. What?_

No. Kendall couldn't be falling in love this fast! He barely knows him! Well, yes, Kendall totally gay but hell no, he didn't falling in love to random boy whom he met at the hospital. And he had cancer. He could die soon. Okay, that's fucking rude. But that's true! Kendall hated being left. Hell no, he swore with his life, he didn't want to be the one who left behind.

"We're here!" Shane gave him a wide smile. They're in front of Kendall's room. How they got here so fast?

Kendall smiled, "Thanks. Uh… sorry, I didn't mean to blame you."

"Not a problem," Shane gave him a big smile, "See you tomorrow, Kendall!" the brunet ran before Kendall could say something else.

Kendall stared to Shane's back going further, "See you tomorrow, Shane."

The next day ran really slow. It's one of Kendall Knight's boring days and he couldn't resist the temptation of escaping. Luckily, he's a prisoner now. He couldn't go anywhere with this black bracelet on his right foot, a sensor. That thing was fucking annoying.

Kendall just finished his first therapy with Dr. Bennett, a middle age woman who actually really nice, made him remember about his Mom. It would be great if he had his phone, he could call his Mom and friends, especially his band mates – Carlos, Logan and Dustin. They're in the middle of writing new song for their band and they might be wondering where the fuck was Kendall.

Or, maybe his Mom already told them?

Kendall had shiver all over his body imagining his friends' reaction. How if they started to hate him because he had depression? Was it cool to have a depression vocalist? Hell, no.

"Kendall?" Rosa, his nurse, called his name.

He turned his head, "Hm?"

"What's wrong?" she handed him a glass of water and a pink pill, "You blanked off."

Kendall swallowed the pill in one shot, "Nothing."

"You know, if you really want to get out of here really fast, you need to start talking." She smiled, "You can talk to me or Dr. Bennett."

Kendall nodded, "Thanks."

She smiled, "Do you need anything else?"

"No," Kendall pulled out his beanie, "Do you know Shane, the boy who has cancer?"

Rosa nodded, "Shane Adams. He's in the same age with you. Why?"

"Do you know where his room is?" Kendall blushed, "I met him last night."

She stared at him, "Oh… uh… You better meet him at the park,"

"Why?"

"He might be didn't want you see him while he had his infusion and all." She smiled wryly, "He was really shy."

Kendall sighed, "That's why he didn't answer me last night."

"But he's really a good boy, everyone here likes him."

Kendall nodded in agreement, "Yeah."

"He's really strong. Unfortunately doctors said there's nothing they could do with him," Rosa stopped talking, like she was slipped her tongue out, "He's a poor boy."

Kendall wanted to ask more about Shane but Rosa took the tray and stood, "I'll check you out after lunch. Have a good day, Kendall."

"Thanks." Kendall threw his body on the bed.

His mind ran into what Rosa said a moment ago about Shane. There's nothing doctors could do with him? Was it meant Shane was going to die soon? He's dying? Pain came into Kendall's heart. It scared him to think about the brunet was dying. He's really fine, he just a little pale. Kendall only knew the brunet less than 24 hours but it scared him for a fact that the brunet might be leaving him anytime soon.

He jumped from his bed and walked out toward the park. Eyes searching the tall, brunet and handsome boy but he didn't show anywhere. Shane wasn't here. Kendall took a seat under the Eek tree, his previous place, hoping he could see the brunet and they could talk like last night.

Kendall looked around. The park was as quite as last night. What was the point of making a park in the hospital building? The patients might have no mood to hang out here anyway.

He rested his head on the tree, closed his eyes as he felt the sunlight kissed his face. It felt good – warm and calm. He changed his position. He laid his body on the bench, face facing the clear sky. The clouds were really beautiful today – it's so white and clean. The sky was really blue. Kendall remembered the day when he went for fishing with his Dad. The sky was same with today, it was a really good day. He hated fishing but he loved spend his time with his Dad. He always does.

He started to close his eyes, trying to clear his head from those memories about his Dad. If it wasn't him, then who could?

Kendall opened his eyes and realized he was fall asleep at the park. He woke to sit and saw the brunet sat in front of him, drew something on his drawing book.

"Hi," Shane smiled, "Afternoon, Lazy Ass."

Kendall chuckled. He had to admit that he missed the brunet, seeing Shane was the best thing to see in the first time he woke up, "Hey."

Shane was no longer wore hospital pajama. He wore normal clothes – white long sleeves and jeans. The only thing that not normal was there's an infusion's hose stuck on his left wrist.

"You didn't have it yesterday," Kendall pointed to the infusion.

Shane raised his head, "Oh," he turned to see the infusion, "Yeah, now I have it, pretty sucks." He grinned.

"What is that?" Kendall moved closer to the other boy. He could smell Shane's natural musk and his cologne. It smelled so tempting.

Shane shrugged his shoulder, right hand working on the drawing book, "I don't know. Never ask,"

Kendall kept his mouth shut. Shane didn't seem wanted to talk about his illness or something like that, but he's pretty opened up about that. It made Kendall confuse and relief at the same time. Remembering what Rosa told him just made him scared even more.

"What do you draw?" Kendall stared at Shane's handsome face.

Shane smiled, "I'll show you when it finish. Just… give me 10 seconds."

"Okay."

Kendall waited. He waited for the longest 10 seconds in his life. It felt like an hour or so… or maybe he was right. The 10 seconds he knew didn't take this long.

"Here." Shane pushed the drawing book to Kendall's lap.

Kendall's eyes widened as he saw on the drawing book. It's him. It's Kendall who slept on the bench, but fuck, was he that good looking? The Kendall on Shane's drawing book was fucking handsome.

"What do you think?" the brunet broke his took a deep breath, he had no idea what he was going to respond, "This is… good."

Shane raised his eyebrow, "That's it? I drew you, Kendall."

"I know," Kendall nodded quickly, "Shit, this is the good looking version of me."

Shane chuckled, the beautiful sound that ever touched Kendall's ears, "You and this," Shane pointed to his drawing, "Didn't have any differences."

Kendall smirked, "No fucking way."

"Yes fucking way," Shane nodded, "I draw what I see." The hazel eyes locked into a pair of green eyes, "This is you. This is what I see."

_Damn! _Who the fuck was this boy? How dare this boy to make Kendall Knight amazed in less than a day?

"I like your eyes," Shane moved his face closer, "It's really green… it's bright and beautiful." he smiled.

In this distance, Kendall couldn't do anything except breathe – or maybe not. The handsome face right in front of him, hazel eyes learning his face, a pair of pink lips parted to make a beautiful smile.

Fuck

"Thanks," Kendall finally found his tongue.

Shane nodded, "How's your therapy?" the brunet didn't bothered himself to move backward. He seemed didn't care to the awkwardness on Kendall's face.

"That's fine." Kendall breathed deeply.

"Good," Shane's point finger touched Kendall's jaws line, "You know what, I don't think you need more therapy. You're fine. You sleep well,"

Kendall stared at the hazel eyes back and forth, "How do you know?"

"I watched you sleep," Shane admitted, "You're fine, Kendall."

Kendall nodded, "I am."

Shane gave him another beautiful smile, "Good. Now, I have to go."

Kendall held his hand, reflect, "Why?" once he realized what he just did, he quickly released the other boy's hand.

"I'm tired," Shane closed his drawing book, "I need more sleep." He rolled the drawing book and tucked it to his jeans pocket, "See you tomorrow, Kendall."

Kendall frowned, "Tomorrow? Why it isn't tonight?"

It made the brunet chuckled, "I can't. See you tomorrow." He smiled before he walked toward the hall, leaving the blond who just stared at his back, eyes begging him to not leaving him alone.

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><p><em><strong>What do you think? Please rate and review! mwah! <strong>_


	3. Chapter 3

**5 YEARS LATER…**

Kendall stared at the window, his eyes were empty. It's just a blank stare. He sat on the corner of his tour bus, chin rested on his palm and his left hand held his backpack.

"Dude," Logan gave him a soft punch to wake him up from his daydream, "We're arrived."

Kendall turned his head to see his band mate, "Huh?"

"Geez… We're here. Hello, New York!" Logan rolled his eyes. He grabbed his own backpack and hung it on his back, "Come on! We gotta lunch."

New York.

Kendall took a deep breathe. He had no memories here, actually today was his first time being here but he had something with this city and that wasn't a good memory.

"I was born in New York, 3 months later, my Mom decided to move to Los Angeles."

He shook his head, trying to get rid those memories of Shane told him about his past. Shane. The only name that Kendall would never forget, it still pain so much every time he remember him.

"Kendall!" once again – or more – his name being called, remind him that Kendall had to get out from the bus.

The bus arrived at the Montage Resto & Bar, the band decided to grab lunch first before check in to the hotel and get ready for tonight show. Heffron Drive would have their last 3 tours here in New York. Their biggest achievement so far for being in a band was a great tour.

Kendall didn't excited that much. He just followed Carlos' back to their table. The restaurant actually pretty good and decent, they must be pay expensive for today's lunch. Oh, Kendall just remembered yesterday they talked about this, kind of a pre-party for their achievement.

Ten of them – Kendall, Carlos, Logan, Dustin and their tour crews – talked about their next stop. But something caught on Kendall's eyes.

Shane.

He was standing on the doorway with an older man, both of them looking decent in their suit.

"Kendall?" Dustin called his name but Kendall ignored him. He was too busy to respond to his friend.

Shane walked toward his table with that man. God, Kendall swore that guy – that Shane - the most handsome guy he'd ever seen in his life. He must be dreaming or he only existed in his imagination, Kendall didn't care.

"Kendall!" once again his name being called but he still didn't care at all.

Shane ordered his food then the other guy did the same. They talked a bit then Shane got really busy with his iPad.

It couldn't be real. Shane was dead 5 years ago. He died because his cancer took him. Reincarnation was not exists. Hell no, Kendall didn't believe that shit.

"KENDALL!"

A slap landed on his shoulder, it made Kendall turned his head, "What?"

"Dude," Carlos frowned, "You're not listening to us!" he protested, his face seemed angry.

"Sorry," Kendall gave him a thin smile, "I… I'm tired. I don't feel good today."

Dustin learned Kendall's face, "You're sick?"

"I don't know," Kendall turned his head to check whether Shane was there or not, and yet, he was seen nowhere.

He must be really missed that brunet guy until he started to imagine him.

What a prick, Kendall Knight!

Logan squeezed his shoulder, "We could go straight to the hotel after this."

"No," Kendall shook his head, "I will but you guys just go…" he smiled.

The rest of the lunch didn't mean to Kendall that much, he didn't want to turned his head either. His head started spinning and banging again.

"You have to learn how to let people go, Kendall. Soon or later, I will leave you and you have to let me go."

Shane's voice whispered in his ears and it made Kendall wanted to throw everything in his stomach out.

"Dude," Carlos touched his shoulder, "You're alright?"

Kendall nodded, "Yeah. I'm fine, Carlos. I'm fine." He suggested himself. He closed his eyes and hoping he wouldn't hear Shane's voice anymore.

Shane, please, leave me alone.

Kendall woke up because the light from the curtain stabbed his eyes so bad. He forced his body to get up and got him a bottle of water. Their first show in New York last night went really great and he really enjoyed it.

He saw the clock which hanging on the wall. It's only 6 am and he knew for a fact that this was too early to wake up but he couldn't back to sleep. Once he wake up then it was.

Kendall walked to the bathroom – mostly dragged himself – and washed his face with cold water then brushed his teeth. He grabbed his varsity jacket and his running shoes, decided to get some morning run which was he never did before.

New York in the morning was really good. The fresh air, the clear and bright sky, the quietness, Kendall enjoyed all of them. Maybe he should do the morning run more often.

After 30 minutes or so ran from the hotel down on the street, he stopped at the park in front of the five stars hotel. He sat under the Eek tree, tried his best to catch as much as the oxygen he could.

Feeling enough of resting, he stood and got ready to run again until he accidentally crashed on someone and both of them falling on the ground.

"Damn!" he hissed when he felt the pain on his back.

A second later he realized there's another guy who fell on the ground. He quickly got his body up and saw to the other guy.

There he was.

Shane – the sexy version of Shane – grumbling and holding his hand, face looking angry.

"What's wrong with you?!"

And there it was, the proof that this guy wasn't Shane

"Sorry." Kendall extended his hand to help that guy, "I didn't see you coming."

The guy didn't take his hand. He stood by himself and took his iPod who fell pretty far from their spot.

"I'm so sorry." Kendall couldn't take his eyes from him.

But this guy looked like Shane so much. They both had the same perfectly shape and full eyebrow, perfect skinny nose, the most beautiful brunet hair, pink lips and the most important was their beautiful hazel eyes.

"Watch your steps!" that guy hissed and then he walked out until Kendall reflects grabbed his hand to stop him.

"Shane?" Kendall asked him.

That guy frowned, "Excuse me?"

Now they both had the same voice and the way they talked was really similar.

"It's me," Kendall smiled, "Kendall! Oh God!" he pulled the guy into his hug. He could smell the mixture of cologne and natural musk of this guy. Even his natural musk didn't change.

The guy pushed Kendall harshly, "I don't know you." he grumbled then walked towards the hotel.

Did Kendall just let him go? Fuck no. He couldn't. It's been 5 fucking years Kendall lived in Shane's shadows, lived in their memories. Now he had a chance to see him in person and missed it? That wasn't going to happen.

Kendall ran and grabbed the guy's hand, "Wait!"

"What are you doing?!" the guy got mad, "I don't know you!"

Kendall shook his head, "I'm Kendall Knight. We met at Los Angeles Children's Hospital."

The guy let his arm from Kendall's hand harshly, "Wrong person, Mr. Knight! Now, excuse me."

Kendall was about to open his mouth when a woman walked toward them and shocked his mind up.

"Mr. Diamond, there's a phone call for you."

The guy turned his head, "If you don't have anything to say, Mr. Knight, please let me go. Good morning and have a good day." He gave him a nod and then walked out, leaving Kendall alone with his pain.

Kendall had no idea how he made his way back to the hotel. When he got there, Logan was up and worked on his laptop, "Where have you been?" Logan asked without turning his head to Kendall.

"Uh… jogging," Kendall answered in unsure tone. It made Logan stopped working on his laptop.

"Okay, you're so fucking pale like you just saw a ghost. What happened?"

Kendall let out a deep sigh. He rested his head on the shoulder of the sofa, "I guess I just saw a ghost."

"Huh?"

Kendall turned his head to Logan, "Remember Shane, I told you like 5 years ago…"

"Yeah?" Logan seemed not sure.

"The guy that I met at the children hospital when I had my depression therapy," Kendall gave him another clue.

Logan nodded, "Yeah, I remembered. He was your boyfriend."

"Fuck yeah." Kendall smiled wryly, "I saw him 10 minutes ago."

Logan's eyes widened, "I thought he was dead."

"Yes," Kendall nodded, "That's why I told you I just saw a ghost."

Logan moved his body closer to Kendall, "I don't understand."

"Me too," Kendall frowned, "But Fuck, Logan, I miss him. He's really handsome by now… tall, a little bit tan…"

Logan chuckled, "You sound like a chick."

Kendall landed a soft punch on Logan's arm, "I hate you."

"Dude, the guy you just saw maybe just looked alike with your boy… with Shane."

"Maybe," Kendall nodded. He remembered that guy was called Mr. Diamond. Shane's last name was Adams.

Logan stood up and placed his laptop on the table, "Let's grab something to eat. I'm hungry!"


	4. Chapter 4

_**Hey guys! I hope all of you like this chapter. Please R&R! **_

_**mwah 3**_

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><p>"Why we're here?" Carlos jumped out from the van. They just arrived at the Diamond Hotel, the most luxury hotel at Rochester, New York.<p>

Logan rolled his eyes, felt annoyed by his friend's question, "Because we're going to meet Camille Roberts, an event organizer for Venice Music Festival. Remember?"

Dustin put his hand around Carlos' shoulders, "And… to get a luxury lunch with her. I've googled her and she's so beautiful."

Kendall chuckled listening to his friends. The foursome entered the hotel lobby and headed to the hotel restaurant on the first floor. Something distracted Kendall's mind. He met that guy at the park across this hotel and that guy was staying at this hotel.

"Kendall?" Logan called his name.

He turned his head to see his best friend, "Hm?"

"You blanked off, again." Logan looked annoyed by Kendall's act.

"Sorry," Kendall smiled, hoping his friend would forgive him, "I met him here."

Logan sighed, "Can you let him out? We're going to meet an important person here for a big event. This is probably our biggest chance to spread Heffron Drive."

Kendall nodded, he fully understood what was Logan told him, "Yes, Sir."

"Is that her?" Carlos asked to Logan. He was the only one who met Camille month ago when she offered them the project at Los Angeles.

Logan nodded. His cheeks blushed as he saw a young woman sat on the corner looking outside, "Yeah."

"Holy crap, she's gorgeous!" Carlos whispered, couldn't hide his excitement.

"And she's really smart." Logan added, "Come on!"

Four of them quickly walked toward Camille's table. Logan was the one who extend his hand first to hold her hand, "Camille."

She turned her head and smiled once she saw four of them, "Logan! Hi, guys! Please take a seat."

"Sorry for waiting, we're stuck at the traffic." Dustin extended his hand, "I'm Dustin Belt."

Camille shook his hand back, "Camille Roberts. It's okay. I just arrived."

"I'm Kendall Knight."

"You must be the vocalist," Camille shook Kendall's hand.

Kendall nodded, "Exactly."

"I'm Carlos Garcia."

After all introducing and chit-chat, the all ordered for lunch. Camille was far from what Kendall imagined. She actually really cool like she wasn't an EO for a big event and she's too young for that job.

"I love your songs!" Camille opened her handbag and showed them her phone, "Look! I downloaded all of your songs and that's amazing! The crowd will love Heffron Drive as much as I do!"

One point, she's a fan girl.

"What's your most favorite song?"

Kendall looked around. People who ate here mostly an important people – well, Kendall could say that based on what he saw. They all wore suit or good dress. Camille was one of them even though she wore a plain black tank top and jeans, but her handbag could tell that she's one of them.

"How many days you're here?"

"I'll back to LA this afternoon." Camille was here because she had a bunch of meetings with artist for Venice Music Festival.

She opened her agenda and gave them a paper, "So, the festival will be in a month from now. All the artists will get a condo because you guys will stay for a night there and…" while Camille explained about the festival, Kendall's eyes caught a feature that he's been thinking all day long.

He wore a suit – a dark brown suit without a tie and light blue shirt underneath. His brunet hair combed. Holy shit! How could someone be that fucking handsome?

He sat at the table with 4 others men, they all suited up. Was he a business man?

"This hotel must be pricy," Carlos commented.

Camille nodded, "Yeah. I won't stay here if it's not for a family meeting." She looked around, "Do you see the handsome guy right there? He's James Diamond. He's the CEO of Diamond Hotels Company."

"Yeah. I've read about him at Times Magazine and he's really owned the world. The sole heir of The Diamond Enterprises, fresh graduated from Harvard."

Everyone knew The Diamond Enterprise, the company that owned mostly hotels and apartments in America.

Carlos' eyes widened, "You mean… the brunet over there?"

"Yeah," Camille nodded. She raised her hand and waved at him. The brunet just nodded at her.

Kendall immediately turned his head to her, "You know him?"

"Yes," Camille nodded, "He's my cousin from my Mom's side."

"How old is he?" Kendall asked her.

Carlos punched him, "Look like someone has a crush…"

Camille chuckled, "23."

Kendall sighed. Why James and Shane were like a same person for him when they're not related at all?

"You have age restriction for your crush?" Logan raised his eyebrow.

Kendall shook his head, "No… uh… he's the guy." He whispered, "The guy that I met this morning, the guy that… looks like Shane. He's that guy."

Logan mouthed an 'O' and just shrugged.

Had a meeting when a distraction was also there was really hard for Kendall. He barely could hear Camille explained all about the festival. He forced himself to listen to her, tried his best to understand all of her words.

Carlos and Dustin were tried their best to eat all of the delicious food on the table. The generous Camille Roberts ordered too much food but it made both of them really happy. They loved food too much.

"Afternoon, Camille." The husky voice broke their meeting – barely could called it a meeting because all they did was chatting.

The all turned their head to see who owned the voice. Well maybe except Camille and Kendall. That husky voice has been ringing on Kendall's ears all day.

James just walked passing them, and gave Camille a soft nod and greeted her before he left, "Have a good day."

Camille nodded and waved him, "Thanks, James. Good day for you too!"

Then he just left without any words or look.

"That's how you and your cousin talk?" Carlos asked in amazed.

Camille chuckled, "That's really weird, huh?"

Kendall tried his best to not looking back even his blood pumping him to do so. Hell no, he couldn't.

"Diamond family is a really formal family especially when they are at work. James is working here. He's the CEO so… yeah. But he's really cool. If I wasn't his cousin, I would crazy over him like a fan."

James Diamond.

Kendall couldn't think more. This guy, whoever he was, made Kendall got distraction. He made Kendall's heart thumping. He made Kendall remembered about all of his Shane memories.

He made the pain back once again.

"You said… James Diamond is Shane's ghost?" Logan asked when they're at the bus. Carlos was busy with his game and Dustin decided to take a nap before their show tonight.

Kendall nodded, "Yes. He is the one I saw this morning."

"Wow," Logan shook his head, "Shane must be really handsome."

A thin smile appeared on Kendall's face, "He was."

"Man, I'm sorry. This must be really hard for you…" Logan's voice softened, "You have to admit that they both are different person."

Kendall nodded, "Certainly. I guess… I just shocked seeing that face again after 5 years when it usually only appears on my dreams."

Logan gave him a squeeze on shoulder, "I'm sorry."

"Thanks, Logge." Kendall stood up, "I'm going to take a nap on my cabin."

Logan nodded, "Cool."

Kendall walked to the cabin, the place where they all sleep during the tour trip. He comforted himself on the small space, which only big enough for skinny guy like him. He tucked his jeans pocket to get his phone.

_Safari_

_James Diamond_

_57.400.000 results in 0,32 seconds_

Crap! What the heck was he doing? _Did I just typed Barrack Obama instead of James Diamond? No. Why he had so much results in Google? _

Kendall chose the first article on the search result.

**James Diamond, CEO of Diamond Enterprise, will be next month TIMES feature.**

He closed the tab and chose another article. Kendall had no idea why he did this to himself but he needed it. He felt the need to know this guy more.

**Female Magazine's #ManCrushMonday: James Diamond.**

Okay, woman's magazine always interesting. He scrolled down to read more the article.

James Diamond, the handsome and attractive young man stopped by Female's office this morning to share with Female about his life.

_**In his earlier 20's, Diamond almost has everything in hands. He is a fresh graduate from Harvard Business School and awarded as the graduation of honor summa cum laude by the faculty. Amazing! He didn't stop there, as the sole heir of family business, he succeed build the new Diamond's hotels in Asia within 2 years as CEO.**_

_**This young man bites more! Diamond constantly runs the company through its rising and shining times. Arthur Diamond, the President of Diamond Enterprises, his Dad, proudly talked about him at the International Seminar in Japan, last month. Who wouldn't?**_

_**Done with his business life, he told Female about his hobby. He likes horseback riding, surfing and flying helicopter. FYI, don't be panic! He has a legal flying license. Once again, this guy looked more attractive for Female!**_

_**"Every time I have spare time, I'll go for horseback riding or go surfing. I try to live my normal younger life. I don't think about business all the time, I also think about having fun and spend my time with family."**_

_**How he got his flying license?**_

_**"I took 6 months of training for airplane & helicopter training when I was 17 and less than a month, I got my legal license."**_

_**Does he have his own aircraft?**_

_**"Yes. I got my first helicopter when I was 18 and year later, I got my jet. Last month, I just bought a Eurocopter Mercedes Benz EC 145."**_

_**Wow. Who the lucky people you always take for flying company?**_

_**"None," he laughed. That's the most adorable laugh that Female ever seen, "Mostly I fly alone. My family often asked me to give them ride but we're a big family so we'll take bigger plane and I hate flying a big plane."**_

Kendall's eyes widened. This James Diamond must be everything. In no way he could related to Shane Adams. Shane had no idea who's his Dad, he told Kendall that his Mom was a single parent and raised him by herself. If so, why they're look alike too much? It's like Shane reincarnation as James Diamond.

_**He talked much about his company and his successful career. How about his love life? The CEO told Female that he is single.**_

_**"I'm a very picky person." He said.**_

_**What he's looking for an ideal life-mate?**_

Kendall's heart started to thump and jump as he scrolled more down to the article, this crap made him thought more about the elder guy.

_**"I like the person who really put an effort to something that they love. If they love… writing or painting, then they do something with their painting. I found it very attractive. Or, if they love music, then they make music and do something with it, those people will take my attention."**_

_**Any reasons why he's very picky?**_

**_"I want the person fully understand to my work. I mean, I'm very busy and traveling a lot for business meetings and other business matters. I don't look for someone who just waiting for me or my call after I traveled thousand miles away or so. I'm looking for someone who as busy as I do so they will understand what I've been through. I think it's really hard to keep in a relationship when you have a serious relationship to work."_**

**_So, he's not into a relationship?_**

**_"Maybe… I'm not dating anyone right now but I go on date. That's more comfortable for both of us. I'm not ready for a serious relationship yet because I might be didn't put my effort to this relationship."_**

**_Why he said so?_**

**_"Because, I'm extremely busy and it might be hurt them. I don't want to break a heart and I don't want to have my heart broken. So, that's why I'm very picky."_**

Kendall threw his phone away made it crashed the wall of the cabinet. He heard Logan's voice grumbling over the noise.

Fuck.

Kendall regretted his decision to open that article, not only a text but it completed with James' photos. He posed with his helicopters. He posed on his room. He posed with a suit and that's fucking adorable.

He closed his eyes and prayed he could forget the James Diamond.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Hey guys! I hope you like this chapter. **_

_**Please R&R. **_

_**Have a great day! 3**_

* * *

><p>Heffron Drive's tour was finally over. The band headed to the studio to store their stuffs. Once they arrived at the studio, Kendall threw himself to the couch, relaxing his tense muscles.<p>

The band didn't take any offer for this month. They wanted to get ready for Venice Music Festival. It could be their turning point in music industry. They would perform with other indie artists and DJ, and they've worked their asses off to get the offer from VMF.

Camille called yesterday, she asked them to have lunch with her this weekend. Logan was the one who get really excited. It's obvious that both of them had something. Kendall had feeling this relationship wouldn't end as an only friend.

"See you this weekend!" Carlos already packed his things, "Bye!" the Latino waved at them and grabbed his things to his Jeep.

Dustin chuckled and waved him back, "He really missed his house."

Logan just nodded. He made himself comfortable on the couch, too tired to move his body.

"I'm going home too…" Kendall stood up, he grabbed his backpack, "So, Saturday at Macy's?"

Logan nodded, "Yeah. I'll call you guys if she makes a change."

"Hm… Seems like someone get pretty intense with her?" Dustin joked, "She's cool."

Logan blushed, "Yes she is."

Kendall threw a pack of candy to Logan, "Logie Bear got a shot!" he laughed, feeling happy for his best friend.

"Thanks," Logan smirked, "Drive safely, Kindle."

Kendall just nodded and raised a hand then dragged his suitcase and backpack to his car. It's been more than 2 months they didn't come home. He missed his Mom, but he wouldn't be home at the first place. He had something to do first.

Kendall put a bouquet of white roses on the grave. He smiled as he crouched, "Hi, Shane. It's been awhile." He whispered.

Shane Brandon Adams

September, 4th, 1992 – November, 2nd, 2009

Kendall took a deep breath. Every time he saw the date Shane was died, it tortured him even more. Shane died on Kendall's birthday. He remembered how happy he was when he drove from home to the hospital. He already bought a cheese cake completed with a '17' candle. He wanted to celebrate his birthday with Shane.

What he got when he arrived? Shane died at 2 am. Kendall cried badly in front of Shane's room. How could Shane die when he called Kendall on 12 am only to say 'happy birthday Kendall' then in 2 fucking hours later the brunet left him without words.

_ "Happy birthday, Kendall!" Shane's voice sounded really soft and calming. _

_ Kendall just woke up, "Thanks, Shane. What time is it?" _

_ "12 on the dot"_

_ "You're not sleep?" Kendall sighed, they just texting each other an hour ago to say have a good dream and the brunet already called him in the next hour? What a waste._

_ Shane chuckled, "Nope. I'm afraid I'll fall asleep and have no chance to be the first person to say this." _

Kendall shook his head, the flashback tortured him. Shane was right, he would never have a chance to be the first person who say happy birthday to Kendall if he fell asleep. He would never have.

_ "I hope you'll graduate soon so you could take me out from here. We can run away wherever you want." Shane chuckled, "Just kidding. I want you have better life, Kendall. You're amazing person." _

_ "I already have. I have you." _

_ "I probably leave you alone anytime soon and you have to let me go. Whenever it is, you have to get ready." _

_ Kendall frowned, "I don't wanna think about that now, Shane. Not on my birthday." _

_ "I know. Can I finish my birthday wishes for you?" _

_ "Go ahead." _

_ "Don't fall asleep you dickhead!" _

_ "I won't!" _

_ "Okay… where was I? Oh… I hope you and your band will be a big thing in music industry as long as you keep it good." _

_ Kendall listened to Shane's birthday wishes. Tears fell from his eyes, didn't believe Shane was the guy who could make him cry only with wishes._

_ "I love you." Kendall said after Shane finished his wishes, "I love you, Shane Adams." _

_ From here, Kendall could imagine Shane was smiling, "I love you, Kendall Knight. I love you always." _

That's the last thing Kendall heard from Shane.

Kendall touched the top of the grave as he touched Shane's head, "I made it, Shane. Heffron Drive was the next big thing now. I have better live. I always try my best to try to let you go but I guess I failed. I met someone like you, both of you have the same face, I swear."

He chuckled, "It surprised me. I thought you're the only one who has those beautiful hazel eyes but I was wrong."

Kendall wiped his tears, "How are you doing Shane Adams? I think heaven made you busier than ever, right?"

He stared at the silent grave, the gray rock that couldn't say anything. Kendall knew he just wasted his time for being here, talking to a grave. But he loved being here, he loved how he felt Shane was here too, staring at him, smiling and comforting him like he used to be.

Kendall just woke up and decided to grab something to eat. Today was the first morning he could smell fresh toast from the kitchen or sound of morning news on the TV.

"Good morning," he pulled the empty chair on the dining table.

His Mom was cooking something on the pan, "Morning. What do you want for breakfast?"

"Anything fast," Kendall grabbed the carton of milk from the center of table, "I'm so hungry."

His Mom rolled her eyes, "Not surprise you skipped dinner for sleep."

"I'm so tired, Mom. I'm sorry."

5 minutes later, his breakfast was ready. He enjoyed his meal, never felt this hungry before, "This toast is really good." He murmured.

Jennifer smiled, "What's your plan for today?"

"I'll stop by on the studio and meet Jo." Kendall answered after finished his meal. His Mom just nodded.

Jo Taylor is his best friend. She's a beauty blogger and also a model. They met on high school and every one at school shipped them as a couple. If only Kendall wasn't a gay, he probably would ask Jo to be his girlfriend.

"Can you stop by for grocery shopping?" his Mom took the cardigan on the chair, "I have meetings today, I'm afraid I can't do that."

Since his Dad died, his Mom was the one who ran the company. She got really busy so that's why she didn't have a problem when Kendall had tour.

"Sure," Kendall nodded, "I'll ask her to accompany me."

His Mom smiled, "Thank you." She placed a soft kiss on Kendall's forehead, "Please wash your hair. It smells like a shit."

Kendall laughed. He almost forgot that his Mom also cursed, "I'll sure do. Drive safely, Mom."

"Kendall!" Jo jumped into his hug, the usual thing she always does, "I miss you!" she screamed on his ears.

"I miss you too," Kendall hugged her so tight until her petite body raised an inch from the floor.

They were on their favorite restaurant, The Brew Palms, and it was pretty crowded. Some people looked at them, smiling as they thought Kendall and Jo as a couple.

"How's tour?"

Kendall told her everything about the craziness of Heffron Drive's tour. How they had to deal with traffic, rushed to the venue, lack of sleep, and all the tour-life stories. Jo seemed excited. She's the one who always supports Kendall and otherwise, Kendall would do the favor for her.

He also told her about James Diamond and his similarities with Shane Adams. She reacted as Kendall thought she would be. Jo held Kendall's hand, giving him a soft cares on the back of his hand, "It must be hard for you."

Kendall held her hand back, "It was, but… I promised him to try to let him go. Then again, James Diamond is nothing like Shane. He's a rich and smart guy."

Jo nodded, "I know who James Diamond is. I never know he looked like Shane. Crap, James is…. Everyone talked about him."

Kendall shrugged, "Not everyone."

She grinned, "Right, not everyone. So… how's Venice Music Festival?"

"The meeting with Camille, the EO, went greet. We'll meet her this weekend. You can come if you want."

Jo chuckled, "I'd love to but I don't understand about music meeting, Kendo."

"Right," Kendall smiled, "But I'm sure you two will get along. She reminds me of you."

"Aw…" Jo smiled, "You missed me a lot, do you?"

Kendall smirked, "I guess."

"Sorry, I can't. I have a date."

"No way!" Kendall's eyes widened, "Who's the lucky guy?"

Jo's eyes sparkled, "Shay Hanson. He's a youtuber. We met last month on youtubers meeting. He's really nice and I like him a lot."

"I'm so happy for you."

Jo smiled, "I know you do."

Their food came and the conversation still continued. It's been too long for the two best friends didn't share each other stories.

"You don't have anything to do after this, right?" Kendall asked as he opened his wallet to pay the bill.

Jo shook her head, "I'll go to Target, beauty blogger shopping, why?"

"Good," Kendall put his hand around her waist, "You have to accompany me for a grocery shopping. Mom asked me to do."

Jo laughed, "Oh God. This is too hilarious! Hey, can I record this as a vlog?"

"What?"

"Please," Jo begged him, "I'll accompany you for grocery shopping and you… accompany me for makeup shopping. How about that?"

Kendall rolled his eyes, "If you're not my best friend, I would leave you alone here."

"Unfortunately, I'm yours." Jo smiled widely. She opened her bag and took the digital camera.

"Hi guys. It's me Jo with one and only my rocker boyfriend, Kendall Knight from Heffron Drive." She pointed the camera to Kendall. He just smiled awkwardly and said a 'hi'.

"We're going to do a grocery shopping and… he will be my company for makeup shopping. It will be fun!"

Kendall opened the door for Jo, "Get in, Miss Taylor."

"What a gentleman, Knight."

Kendall smiled as he saw the happy face of his best friend. Jo still talking to camera and he couldn't take his eyes of her. He was feeling grateful for what he had. He couldn't ask for better best friend because he already had her.

Kendall just arrived at the Macy's. Camille was already there with Logan. Carlos and Dustin bailed because Dustin's brother got a car accident yesterday and Carlos was sick.

"Hi, Cam!" he gave her a quick hug.

Camille hugged him back, "Kendall! Good to see you again!"

"You look great," Kendall took a seat next to Logan.

"Thanks," she blushed, "I saw you on youTube."

Logan turned his head, "You uploaded a video?"

"No," Kendall frowned, "What video?"

A waiter interrupted their conversation by asking their order. After order food, Camille continued.

"Vlog. I don't know you and Jo Taylor are a couple."

Kendall chuckled, "Oh, that video. We're not dating." He answered.

"She is his best friend." Logan added, "Also my friend."

Kendall nodded, agreed with Logan's statement. Camille smiled, "I love watching her videos. She's really humble and gorgeous."

"Yeah," Kendall agreed, "I asked her to come today but apparently she has a date. I know you two will get along."

Logan chuckled, "You and Jo will be a good friend."

"Really?" Camille surprised.

"Yeah, you remind me a lot of her." Kendall smiled, "You both are cool people to hang out with."

Camille laughed, "Thank you. Oh!" She hurried open her bag, "I almost forget to give you this." She handed a white envelope to Logan, "Talent tags. I gave each of you one extra tag, in case you guys bring your family or friends."

"Thanks," Logan opened the envelope, "Mine will go to my sister, Presley."

"That's nice! How about you, Kendall?"

Kendall shrugged his shoulder, "I don't know. I don't have siblings and my Mom is really busy. Maybe I'll give it to Jo if she can."

"Cool," Camille smiled, "How's Carlos? Is he fine?"

"That kid ate a stale chicken the other day. He will be fine in few days." Logan answered, "Carlos loves food too much."

She laughed.

"He's really a funny person. I can say that I love hanging out with you guys. I always meet the artists before the event, to build the chemistry. So far, you guys are the best." She smiled.

Kendall smiled, "We love to hang out with you, Camille. You're the coolest EO we've ever met."

"Yeah, you're the best." Logan smiled.

Kendall felt really itchy to not helping his best friend and Camille let out their feelings. It's really obvious both of them get attract to each other.

"I feel there's something is going on here." He smiled, staring back and forth from Camille and Logan, "You two."

"What?" Logan frowned.

The conversation interrupted by Camille's phone ringing. She held it and stared at the phone blankly.

"Oh my God!" she gasped, "It's James."

"James who?" Logan asked.

Kendall knew the answer. He almost forgot about him.

"James Diamond!" she freaked out. She placed her point finger on the mouth signed them to not make any noises while she talked with him on the phone, "Hi, James."

Logan turned his head to Kendall and whispered, "Why are you said something like that?"

"Like what?" Kendall whispered back.

"You make me nervous!"

"I'm helping you. You should ask her go on date, she obviously has something on you!"

Logan shrugged, "You don't know. We don't know."

Kendall sighed, "So ask her." He turned his head back to Camille. The brunette still talking on the phone with James Diamond, she looked really intense.

"Yeah… I understand. No, I'm no longer at La Jolla. I'm in LA. You want to come over? What? Oh… I'm at Macy's with… my friends." Camille put her phone away from her mouth, "James will come, is that okay?"

Kendall could feel his heart stop beating.

"It's okay." Logan answered. Fucking Logan!

"Just come. Okay, see you soon." Camille let out a deep sigh after talked with James on the phone.

Logan learned her face, "Something's wrong?"

Camille shook her head, "Uh… nothing. It's a family business."

"Oh," Logan nodded, "He will come?"

Camille nodded, "Yeah, is that okay?"

Of course not!

Kendall nodded, "That's cool."

James apparently came a bit sooner. The brunet showed up with a black Corvette Stingray. He got off from the car, looked really good looking with a white Polo shirt and jeans. He took off his Ray-Ban aviator once he entered the restaurant. Camille waved at him as a sign for him. She stood up to hug her cousin.

Kendall swore he never look anyone this handsome before.

"James, this is Logan and Kendall." She introduced them.

Kendall swore once James looking at him, the brunet's lips parted as he shocked and his hazel eyes widened.

"Logan Mitchell," Logan extended his hand.

The brunet turned his head to Logan, "James Diamond."

Kendall took a deep breath before introducing himself, "I'm… I'm uh… Kendall Knight"

James nodded, "James Diamond, nice to meet you again."

What the fuck? He remembered?

Camille got a pair of good ears, "You two met before?"

James took a seat next to Camille which was right in front of Kendall, "Small accident. I'm sorry to interrupt your lunch." He turned his head to Camille, "This is so rude."

Logan pinched Kendall's hand under the table. Kendall turned his head to him in a 'what the fuck are you doing?' look and Logan just stared at him as he said 'how could he remembered you?' look.

"No, it's fun. We're talking about Venice Music Festival." Camille smiled, "How are you?"

James nodded as he understood, "I'm doing fine, been really busy lately. Oh, I left the envelope at the car. I'll go to get it." he stood and without saying anything he walked out.

Camille turned her head to Kendall, "Okay, explained."

"What?" Kendall acted like he didn't understand what she was talking about.

"I know my cousin pretty well, Kendall." Camille started, "He won't pay attention to a 'just small accident'."

Okay. It still didn't make any sense.

Kendall shrugged, "I met him at New York. I accidentally crashed over him when I jogged."

Camille still staring at him like she didn't satisfied with Kendall's answer.

"That's all." Kendall sighed, "I swear, there's nothing more of it."

Logan gave a soft nod and took his drink. He looked up and saw James walked toward them, "He's here." He whispered.

James sat back on his chair and gave Camille a big brown envelope, "Here it is."

Camille nodded, "I'll give it to Mom. So, how's Uncle Arthur doing?"

While the cousins talked, Kendall grabbed his phone on the table, get ready to go home. He couldn't sit on the same table with James.

"Uh… Cam, I think… I'm going home." Kendall felt bad to interrupt the conversation between them.

Camille frowned, "Oh… alright. Let's have another lunch or dinner sometimes, okay?" she stood and gave Kendall a warm hug, "You owe me a story." She whispered.

Kendall sighed, "I've told you everything."

Logan was standing behind them, "Thanks for the lunch," he hugged her.

"No, I thank you, Logan." She hugged him back.

Kendall turned his head to James who now staring at him like he was an alien or something. Those intense eyes contact made him nervous, "Nice to meet you, James."

James gave him a thin smile, "My pleasure, Kendall Knight."

Damn.

His name suddenly became a sexy word in James' mouth.

Camille and Logan stared at each other, he just shrugged. After all good byes, Kendall and Logan headed to the parking lot. Kendall had a feeling he wouldn't get better sleep tonight or maybe he wouldn't sleep at all.

Camille Roberts: you need to tell me what's going on between you and James

Kendall sighed. He just finished showering and this message was the first thing he saw when he checked his phone.

Kendall Knight: I've told you everything

Camille Roberts: I never saw him acted like that before

Kendall Knight: like what?

Camille Roberts: nervous in front of new people

His eyes widened, really?

Kendall Knight: he looked okay yesterday

Camille Roberts: he usually better than yesterday. How did you meet him again?

Kendall Knight: I crashed him at the park across his hotel. That's all.

Camille Roberts: you know I can't ask him, so I ask you

Kendall Knight: I swear. That's all happened

Camille Roberts: I know he's gay even thou he didn't say to anyone. He had crushed on you

Fuck.

Kendall Knight: no fucking way, Camille

Camille Roberts: and I know you're gay too and there's something between you two

Double fuck.

Kendall Knight: what are you? a fortune-teller?

Camille Roberts: I'm a psychologist student. Surprise!

Kendall Knight: make sense

Camille Roberts: okay this is getting more interesting!

Kendall Knight: I know you have crush on Logan and he's too

Camille Roberts: I know. He asked me to go on date tomorrow

Kendall chuckled. Logan really listened to him.

Kendall Knight: you both will make a great couple

Camille Roberts: Thanks. You and James too!

Kendall Knight: uh you get annoying

Camille Roberts: LOL I'm just kidding

Kendall threw himself on the bed. His mind ran through what Camille said on iMessage. James was nervous? James had crush on him?

He tried to remember every single chapter from the day they met but really, nothing happened. James was just got really angry to him, then why James remembered that day?


	6. Chapter 6

_**I hope you guys like this chapter! **_

_**Thanks for reading! Love you oodles and oodles! **_

Venice Music Festival was like a smaller version of Coachella. Kendall and the band just arrived at Venice, California, quickly hitting their condo. Jo and Presley were already planning to hit the pool.

Carlos' and Dustin's extra tags were given to Carlos' brother, Javi and his girlfriend and they would come tomorrow on the event. Dustin's brother failed because the accident.

"Presley, come on!" Jo already changed her yellow summer dress into a navy bikini. It made her skin stand out even more and matched with her blonde curly hair. She looked like a living Barbie.

"Wow," Dustin reflect let out an amazed word.

Kendall chuckled, "Wipe your droll, Duz."

Presley was beautiful too. She's only 15 but as tall as Jo and by her swimsuit, none would believe she's that young. Both of them ignored the boys who unpacked their band stuffs and just ran toward the pool across the condo.

Camille came, she looked really tired but still on her fire, "Hey, Guys!"

Logan stood up to hug his girlfriend. Yeah. They only need 3 weeks to get along then boom, now they're a couple.

"How's the condo?" she asked after placed a soft kiss on Logan's cheek.

Carlos grinned, "Da best! Thanks, Cam!"

"Anytime," Camille smiled, "I want to spend time with you guys but I need to check all artists so…"

"We understand," Kendall hugged her, "Did you meet Presley and Jo outside? They're swimming."

Camille shook her head, "No. I'll meet them on dinner, okay? Get some rest, Guys. Tomorrow is a big day!"

She walked out from condo, followed by Logan. Kendall decided to take shower first before he unpacked his things. Carlos and Logan grabbed some snacks while they're watching Game of Thrones.

Kendall walked out from Dr. Bennett's room with a bright smile. He felt so much better after spent 4 days here. His therapist also said that he could go home this weekend. He missed his home, his friends. He missed being in band, playing guitar and singing and also writing new music.

But he liked being here too. He liked all nurses mostly Rosa, and Dr. Bennett. How two of them comfort him like he was their family. Regard from people who working here, Kendall liked spending his time with Shane Adams, a 16 year old boy with cancer. Fuck, was life must be that hard?

He made his way to the park where Shane was already there waiting for him. The brunet drew something in his drawing book like usual, his infusion still stuck on his left wrist. The boy looked paler than yesterday.

"Hey," Kendall sat next to him.

Shane turned his head, gave the blond a big smile, "Hey. How's your therapy today?" that's the usual thing that Shane always questioned. As cliché as it heard, Kendall loved being asked by this gorgeous brunet.

"That's good. I do feel much better." Kendall rested his back on the tree, "I can go home this weekend." He bowed, staring at his lap.

Shane closed his drawing book, "Really?" his hazel eyes sparkled, a smile appeared on his pale face.

"Yeah," Kendall stared at the brunet, "I'm doing fine by now. Just 2 sessions of therapy and I'm good to go home."

Shane jumped onto Kendall's hug, "I'm so proud!" he caressed Kendall's head, "I told you, you're fine."

Kendall sighed, "Yeah, but I'm not that happy for a fact I'm going home soon."

"Why? I thought you hate being here." Shane frowned.

Kendall stood and extended his hand to Shane, signing him to take his hand, "Come on."

They both made their way to the roof. Shane just followed the blond before him even though he had no idea what's going on with Kendall.

"Part of me really hated being here, been away from your home, room, family and friends… that really suck!" Kendall stared intensely to the hazel eyes owner, "but… part of me love being here. It's because…"

Kendall stopped as he looking at Shane. The brunet watched him innocently, "Because of what?"

"You." and that's all being said.

Shane gasped, "Oh… Kendall…"

"That's weird, huh?" Kendall chuckled, "I just met you 4 days ago and bam! I like you more than I should."

Shane pulled the blond boy to his hug, "It's not weird at all. I like you too."

"You do?" Kendall buried his face between Shane's neck and collar bones.

Shane nodded, "Since the first day we met. That's why I brought you here." He released their hug, "I never bring other people here."

Kendall's eyes widened. He was really surprise not only by what Shane just said to him but also with the way the brunet said it. His intense eyes staring at him, his pink lips parting to make a beautiful smile, it was like he really meant it.

"I like you, Kendall Knight." Shane touched his face, "A lot." then the brunet brought their lips together. He kissed Kendall softly and gently. It wasn't like how Kendall ever experience before. With Shane, everything was different.

Kendall felt he was no longer at the hospital roof. He felt something brought him to a Heaven. Maybe Shane was Heaven itself.

Kendall sat next to Jo in the big dining table for VMF talents gala dinner. He heard the owner of this place would give a bite as an opening.

"That's him!" Jo squeaked besides him, her hand grabbing Kendall's hand under the table.

Kendall rolled his eyes, "Who?" he turned to see who was Jo meant.

Camille stood next to the Adonis, the Greek God who wore a pair of black jeans and white shirt. He smiled and greeted everyone on the ballroom, "Good evening. I'm James Diamond. I'd like to greet everyone here, the talented musicians who will play for Venice Music Festival tomorrow. Welcome to Diamond's Condo and Apartments."

What. The. Fuck.

Why Kendall never realized the condo he stayed was belongs to that fucking Adonis? Why he missed the most important part?

"God! He's really handsome!" Jo was being fan girl beside him and that's really annoying.

Like it didn't enough, Presley was also did the same. She squealed like a child getting a balloon. Logan couldn't stop laughing next to him.

"Kendall," Jo frowned, "I'm so sorry." She just remembered about Kendall and James Diamond over there.

He shrugged, "I'm fine."

James finished his greeting then walked down from the platform. Everyone cheered and clapped their hands for him. The girls just being how fans supposed to be, well maybe some guys too.

Camille joined their table, comforting herself next to Logan. Behind her was James, standing gently.

"Please take a seat, James." Camille pointed to an empty chair. James gave a soft nod then took a seat between her and Kendall.

Kendall could feel his back tensed.

"Kendall Knight," James nodded to him, gave him a smile.

The blond nodded back, "Mr. Diamond."

"It's James," he said. He looked to the other way, "Camille told me four of you are Heffron Drive."

Logan nodded. He started the conversation with the Greek God to break the awkwardness. Thanks to him and his smart brain, he could get along with this smart Adonis.

Carlos and Dustin joined the conversation too.

It surprised Kendall how James Diamond could fully understand about music industry.

"Indie bands can spread way better than commercial bands. I think it will be really competitive for both bands." James commented.

During the dinner, Kendall didn't talk much. He just gave a small comment when he felt needed to get along in conversation.

Kendall stared at the desert he got. He didn't have mood to eat it by the way. All of his friends were busy in the interesting conversation that Kendall didn't even know. Then he didn't even know how the dinner finished already.

It's all James fault.

That fucking moron distracted Kendall worse than Kendall thought.

"Come on," Jo put his hand around Kendall's waist, "Let's go the beach!"

Kendall just nodded. He looked around to find Camille to say thank you but instead he found a pair of hazel eyes locked onto him. James' jaws clenched.

He had no idea what that look meant.

Was he mad? But Kendall didn't do anything wrong.

Was he… jealous?

Jo put her hands around Kendall's waist, she also leaned her head on Kendall's chest and that wasn't a big deal for him but it was for other people who didn't know Kendall was gay and Jo was his best friend.

Maybe it was a big deal for James too?

Kendall gave him a thin smile and soft nod signed him that they would leave. James just nodded then walked out.

"Ken, what's wrong?" Jo raised her head to see Kendall. He shook his head, rested his chin on Jo's head.

"I saw something weird but it's not a big deal." He whispered.

Jo frowned, the blonde didn't believe him, "Really?"

"Yeah," he sighed, "Let's go."

The crowd was insane. Kendall was standing at the stage, in front of twenty thousand people and that's fucking awesome.

He held the microphone's stand, turned his head to his band mates then greeted the audience. The crowd seemed like them.

"The first song called Parallel!" Kendall announced.

Kendall stared at the audience, seeing girls and guys singing along with him and it felt really good. He was proud to himself, to his band.

"Parallel, in this universe… do we light up 'em up, just to watch them burn?"

He sang and got into the music and the cheered. Kendall could see the crowd enjoyed their performance. Song by song, Kendall finally had to ended Heffron Drive's performance.

"This is the last song. We're really grateful have a chance here. We love you guys so much!" Kendall stared to the crowd which now cheered them.

"Sing with us, Venice! This song is called feels so good!"

Kendall owned the stage. He walked back and forth, touching and smiling to the girls who standing on the front line. He could see Jo and Presley there, enjoyed the moment they had.

"I had a good dream last night," Shane smiled at him, his hand made a random pattern on Kendall's chest.

Kendall moved his body facing the brunet, "Mind to tell me?"

"I dream about you. It's really a good dream. Well I actually think that wasn't a dream. It was… how I picture your future."

Kendall chuckled, "Okay, stop bubbling and tell me."

"You singing on the stage with your band in front of thousands or more people, you are the star. The audience loves you so much. The girls screaming your name, hand extend to touch your hand as they want you holding them back. You are the star. You are the one they all wanted to see." Shane staring at the clear Los Angeles sky, "I'm standing on the crowd, watching you proudly, screaming your name as mine."

Kendall could feel his heart stop beating, "Wow. That's… really a good dream."

"Yeah," Shane nodded in agreement, "I have a feeling it will come true someday and I'll be standing in the crowd. I'll give you a big smile, I must be proud of you."

Fuck.

The flashback made Kendall's head banging. He tried his best to not fainting or worse, collapsing. The pair of green eyes started to search the brunet guy in the crowd. Yet he wasn't there. He wouldn't be there.

It felt so bad.

It's painful.

Kendall would do anything to make Shane standing in the crowd and gave him a big smile.

Kendall sat on the seaside, enjoying the sound of the waves and night beach wind. His hand held a bottle of beer – he had no idea how many bottles he had. He loved how quiet it was. He could feel his heart still in pain because the random flashback, head still banging for no reason.

Hell.

He missed that guy. They maybe only 2 weeks together, but those weeks are the best time Kendall ever had. He never thought someone had ability to make him in this rate of depression. No, not depression, it's way better to called it falling in love. Kendall had to let Shane go before he realized he loved him so much.

It's been 5 years and Kendall didn't think he'd move on yet.

"Nice performance," a husky voice broke the quietness.

Kendall turned his head for nothing. He knew who's the owner of that sexy voice but yet he still turning his head to see him.

James joined him. He sat next to him, "Good job."

"Thanks," Kendall took a shoot of his beer, "I don't know you're there."

James inhaled, "I owned this place, Kendall Knight. I have every right to watch the show."

What a cocky bastard.

"Yeah," Kendall commented in a lazy tone.

James turned his head to see Kendall, "I was wondering… why you ran after me that morning?"

Kendall frowned, "Why do you care?"

"You…" James stopped, thinking better words, "You seemed… do we meet before New York?"

Kendall shook his head. He bowed watching his beer blankly, "Nope."

"You introduced yourself to me as you wanted me to remember you. That's weird." James took a deep breath, "It scared me."

Kendall chuckled, "The James Diamond scared because of random guy?"

"Yeah," James nodded shyly, "Not because you're a random guy at that moment…"

Kendall heard there's something weird on his answered, "Then what?"

"Nothing," James shook his head. He grabbed the beer from Kendall's hand and drank it until half.

Kendall could feel the other guy had problem, "Bad day?"

"Uh huh," James just nodded. He gave the bottle back then rested his back on the palm tree.

Kendall stared to the brunet. So, this was how Shane looked like if he had a chance to grow up?

He had scruff, skin tanner, well building body, sexy pink lips…

Fuck.

Why he did this to himself?

"You don't answer my question," James stated, "Why you ran after me?" he stared to Kendall as he craved for the answer.

Kendall gave him a thin smile, "Do you really need to know the answer?"

"Probably," James looked not sure, "I just curious."

Kendall let out a deep sigh, "You look like someone I know."

The brunet still staring at him, wasn't satisfied with his answer, James craved for more.

"Someone in the past… I thought you are him, so…" Kendall took another shot of his beer.

James nodded, "Oh. I see. Do I… and that person really look alike?"

Kendall had no idea why James Diamond, the CEO of the biggest company in America, curious about the shit of him?

"Yes," Kendall nodded. He moved closer to James and the other boy didn't hesitate to move his body, "It's like I see him."

James staring at him back, "I guess he meant a lot to you."

"Yes. He was."

"Where is he?"

"Here," Kendall touched his heart, "Here." He touched his head, then he touched James' face, "Maybe here…"

James smirked, "You're drunk."

Was he?

Kendall shrugged, "Maybe,"

James stood, "Nice to talk to you, Kendall Knight." He was about to go when Kendall grabbed his hand.

"Don't go," he begged, "I like talking with you." Kendall stared to the other boy, "Please, just put your ass here and talk to me."

James sighed, "I prefer when you're sober."

"You won't talk to me," Kendall shook his head, "You will ignore me when I sober."

James frowned, "Why?"

"I don't know," Kendall shrugged, "You tell me."

James sat back next to him, "I have no idea what are you talking about."

Kendall laughed, "This is funny how you and him are really look alike. Even the way you talk too."

James stared at the boozy Kendall, "Am I?"

"Yeah," Kendall nodded, "You and him are the same person. Fuck, it hurts me. You hurt me."

James rolled his eyes, "I'm leaving."

"Everybody always leave me! First, it was my Dad and then Shane and now… you!" Kendall yelled.

James smiled, "What do you want me to do?"

"Sit here and talk to me like you used to be," Kendall pulled James into his hug, "Because I miss you so much."

James released their hug, "Wrong person, Kendall."

"I don't care!" Kendall grumbled. His hand moved to touch James' head, locked onto his soft hair, "You or him, both of you are so beautiful."

Kendall brought his lips to James' lips, pressed their lips together in a frenzy moving way. He put his hands around James' waist to pull him closer.

James glared at Kendall with eyes bugged out, "Fuck, Kendall!" he pushed the other guy further.

"What?"

James touched his lips, "Did you just… oh God!" he stood up and then walked out leaving Kendall who now fainted on the ground.


	7. Chapter 7

**_New Chapter is here! I hope all of you enjoy it!_**

_**Thanks for reading! I love you guys oodles and oodles!**_

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><p>The first thing Kendall saw in the morning was Jo's worry face. She frowned, "Kendall, you scared me!" she landed a punch on Kendall's chest.<p>

Kendall woke up, "Hm?"

"You've been sleeping for like… 12 hours or so." Jo pouted, "Sleepy head!'

He looked around. It's their condo. Carlos and Dustin were packing, Presley helped them.

"Where's Logan?"

Jo combed her hair with fingers, "He went to Camille's to get your payment and stuffs."

Kendall nodded. He gave his head a massage, "How did I get here?"

"You slept in the porch last night. If Dustin didn't come home late last night after the party, you wouldn't be found." Jo threw a towel to Kendall, "Go shower! You smell like a shit."

Kendall nodded. He took the towel and made his way to the bathroom.

How did he get to the condo?

Was he on the seaside?

Camille insisted they need to stay at least for lunch. The guys loved it as much as Jo and Presley loved it too. So here they were, sat around a big table in the restaurant.

Jo, Camille and Presley were talking about beauty stuff. Jo had an idea she would invited both of them for another video.

"Kendall," Camille turned her head to him, "Do you mind if we talk… alone?"

He frowned, confuse because Camille could talk everything in front of his band, "Yeah?"

She grabbed his hand then pulled him to the other side of restaurant, "Okay, now, what did you do to James?"

"What?"

Camille grumbled, "He suddenly wanted to go home last night."

Kendall sighed, "Why you blamed me for his sudden action? Maybe your cousin bored being here or…"

Something just hit his head.

James.

He remembered the brunet came last night and he asked about New York then…

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Kendall kissed him.

Camille put her hands crossed in front of her chest, "or what? I saw you both talking on the seaside."

Kendall denied, "I don't know. Just ask him."

Camille shook her head, "What you guys talked about?"

"He gave me a compliment for my good job, that's all." Kendall gulped, felt intimidating by Camille's stare, "I didn't do anything wrong I guess."

"So you're drunk."

Kendall nodded, "Fuck, yeah…"

Camille sighed, "He wasn't and…" she stared to Kendall, "Oh God, did you… kiss him?"

"What?" Kendall glared, "Fuck, no way!"

Camille laughed, "Crap, Kendall… you did! Oh God… you stole his first kiss!"

Kendall wanted something so big and strong pulled him to the ground or hell or whatever.

"You need to apologize to him, Kendall." Camille tried her best to stop laughing, "I'll give you his number."

Kendall stared at his phone blankly. He wasn't sure whether he had to call James to apologize or not, but Camille told so.

Because it's the brunet's first kiss.

Really?

James has the face and body and he's fucking rich young man but he never kiss someone before?

Ck.

Why Kendall not surprise?

"So, you're Shane and James' first kiss?" he remembered what Jo said when he told her about that night.

Fuck.

"Kendall," his Mom showed up on the doorway, "I called you for like 5 times. What's wrong?"

He quickly stood up and walked toward his Mom, "Nothing. I just have something on my mind."

His Mom nodded, "Okay. Dinner is ready, come on." She put her hand around Kendall's waist.

It's only two of them in the house and Kendall often felt bad for a fact his Mom had to dining out or have dinner alone.

"How's Venice?"

Kendall told her about the show. How the crowd was insane, how they loved Heffron Drive and how Camille treated every artist well.

"That's good. Maybe after this, Heffron Drive will get more chances." His Mom said wisely.

Kendall gave her a nod and grabbed her hand, kissed it on the back, "Thanks Mom."

"You don't have anything to do tomorrow, right?" his Mom asked as she filled orange juice to her glass.

Kendall shook his head, "Nope."

"I have a big meeting tomorrow and I'm so tired to drive alone. Can you drive for me?"

"As your wish, Ma'am," Kendall smiled, "Just wake me up an hour before."

"Sure." His Mom nodded, "Now, if you don't mind young man, please do the dishes. I need to get ready for tomorrow."

Kendall chuckled, "Aye,"

His Mom stood from the chair and kissed him on the forehead, "I love you,"

"Love you too, Mom. Sleep well."

Kendall was waiting for his Mom on the car. He wore his nicest shirt – mostly on his wardrobe was metal shirt, tank top and some of inappropriate clothes for attending a meeting. Even he probably just sat on the other table but still, he couldn't smack his Mom on the face with his style.

"Come on, we're almost late!" his Mom got in the car and threw her bag on the back seat.

Kendall rolled his eyes, "I'm not the one who late."

"Shut up," his Mom hissed, she put her lipstick on, "I can't be late because this meeting is really important for us."

"Where we will go?"

They hit the main road and Kendall still had no idea where he supposed to drive.

"To his office, of course." his Mom answered in grumpy tone like she already said it billion times.

Kendall sighed, "You haven't told me who you gonna meet and where the meeting is…"

"Oh really?" his Mom grinned, "Diamond's Enterprise on the fifth."

Kendall could feel his muscles tensed, "What? Why we're going there?"

His Mom sighed, "Because I have meeting with James Diamond, hello…"

Super. Double. Fuck.

There they were. The twenty two stories building with a grey and white tone. He turned around his car to find a decent place for parking. His Mom checked her look on the small mirror, make sure she looks great.

"Come on!" She asked Kendall to get out.

Kendall shook his head, "Uh… can I just… waiting here?"

"No," she frowned, "I hate leaving my son on the car like he's my driver. Come on, you can sit on the lobby if you don't want to join the meeting." She insisted.

Kendall mouthed a fuck before got out from the car, "Okay."

The Mom and son headed to the lobby of the luxury building. Kendall had no idea why his Mom as the CEO of their company – a company which focused on steel – would make a deal with Diamond's company.

"This is a big deal for us, Kendall. Diamond will builds other hotels and apartments in Asia and… they will need steel." his Mom answered the snide question.

Kendall nodded, "Okay."

He never felt this nervous before. The both entered another luxury room in the top of the building.

"Please have seat, Mr. and Mrs. Knight," the blonde secretary smiled to them, "Mr. Diamond will be here in 10 minutes. Do you want any refreshment?"

"Just water, please." His Mom answered.

The blonde nodded, "How about you, Sir?"

"I'm good." Kendall answered.

She nodded then walked out. He looked around, even the waiting room as big as hell. What did Diamond do in the past to make their family this rich?

"Kendall," his Mom whispered, "What's wrong with you? Stop biting your nails!"

He didn't realize that. Biting his nails was the sign that he was really nervous. Why he wouldn't? He was going to meet the person who looked alike Shane, the person he just kissed the other day.

Damn.

That wasn't good.

"Mrs. Knight," a husky yet sexy voice came from behind.

His Mom turned, "Mr. Diamond,"

"Please call me, James." he extended his hand to shake Kendall's Mom's hand, "Sorry for the wait."

This cocky bastard was really polite.

Kendall didn't sure was he really need to turn his back or not. Soon or later, he would. Slowly, he turned and saw a pair of hazel eyes locked into him. There's a bunch of emotions there, anger, shock, and… happy?

"This is my son," his Mom introducing him, "Kendall Knight."

James smiled wryly, "Of course, Mr. Knight." He gave him a soft nod, "If you don't mind, Mrs. Knight, we can talk in my office."

"Sure."

Kendall couldn't take his eyes of him. What was that? Did James just… dumping him?


	8. Chapter 8

_**re-upload. sorry, i didn't realize last night update turned out so weird. **_

_**hope you enjoy it! thanks for reading guys! **_

_**don't forget to R&R and also check out my new **_**_fic "A SKY FULL OF STARS" _**

**_LOVE YOU GUYS OODLES AND OODLES!_**

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><p>It was the longest 2 hours of Kendall Knight's life. He's been sitting on the sofa, walking back and forth on the lobby, playing game on his phone, listening to music, all he did to kill the time.<p>

"I'll call you back as soon as possible," James' voice broke his daydream.

His Mom showed from the CEO room, "Of course. I'm looking forward to meet your Dad. Please tell him I say hello."

"Of course," James nodded softly. He turned his head to Kendall, "Kendall Knight." He gave him a nod.

Kendall sighed. He'd been thought about this the whole time he waited for his Mom. Now or never, "James… We need to talk."

His Mom's eyes widened, "Kendall!"

James smiled, "It's fine, Mrs. Knight. Actually, we've met before."

"Oh," his Mom's felt relief, "I thought he acted really rude. Alright, I'll be in the car." His Mom touched Kendall's shoulder and he just gave her a nod.

James stared to Kendall like he wanted to kill him immediately, "How about on my office?"

Kendall nodded. He couldn't talk about that here, in the middle of waiting room where his secretary and other employees walking back and forth. This wasn't a talk that Kendall wanted everyone knows.

James' office was more than luxury. It's majestic.

Kendall could live here forever.

He turned his head to see James who sat back in his table. Kendall didn't realize how handsome this guy today. He wore a white shirt underneath the navy suit complete with a tie in a match color.

Kendall felt like he's really just a random guy even in his nicest shirt.

"I… don't know you and my Mom will have a meeting today." He started.

James just nodded and let out a soft uh huh. He made himself busy with his laptop. Kendall knew this brunet probably didn't want to talk to him but hell, Kendall wasn't a jerk face.

"James,"

The elder guy raised his head, "Yes, Kendall Knight."

"Do you know who am I before? I mean… do you know… my Mom…" Kendall stuttered. He's freaking nervous.

James shook his head, "No, I don't."

"Okay," Kendall nodded.

"Are you finished?" James asked in a cold tone, "I'm extremely busy right now, if you don't have…"

Kendall cut him off with a sudden movement, he stood up with hands on the table, "I want to say sorry."

James just stared at him without saying anything.

"I was drunk and… I probably do something that you don't want to." Kendall could feel his face starting to burn.

James raised an eyebrow, "Such as?"

Kendall grumbled, "Damn, I kissed you, huh?"

"Yes." James sighed, "That wasn't I expecting."

Kendall rolled his eyes, "Can you stop being sarcastic? I'm here trying my best to apologize but you…"

"But I like it." James cut him off. He woke from his chair and walked toward Kendall who now was freezing.

James turned Kendall's body to face him, "Yes, I was shocked but… I'm not mad. I'm just surprise."

Okay, now Kendall had no idea what this guy talking about.

James smiled, a real beautiful smile, "Shame, you did it because you're drunk."

What the fuck?

"What?" Kendall asked – almost yelled.

James chuckled, "This is embarrassing you know, for me, as a successful young man, admitted he was gay and like a random dude like you."

Kendall had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

"I have no idea why I like you… but…" James moved his face closer, "I guess now I know."

Kendall couldn't take it anymore, "What the fuck is going on here?"

"I can't stop thinking about you, Kendall!" James answered in a gentle voice like he answered a random question on the interview, "I know you like me too, whether because I look alike with your past or…"

Kendall frowned, "How did you know?"

"You told me," James sighed, "You don't remember because you're so fucking drunk."

Oh. News flash, James Diamond cursed.

Kendall nodded, "Okay but it wasn't like… this is confusing. I come here to ask your forgiveness but I get your confession. Wow."

James laughed.

"That's weird huh? I barely know you but here am I… admitting that I like you." James stared at Kendall's green eyes.

Kendall felt déjà vu.

"That's weird, huh? I just met you 4 days ago and bam! I like you more than I should."

He remembered what he said to Shane and now he heard it from James.

"That's not weird," Kendall stepped closer, "I know how it feels."

James smiled, "Really?"

"Yeah," Kendall nodded, "So, I guess, you forgive me?"

"Maybe,"

Kendall smiled, "Thanks,"

None of them felt needed to say anything. They just stared at each other eyes, learning their faces.

"Did you, the person who brought me from the seaside to my condo?" Kendall asked.

James nodded, "I left when you kissed me but I came back to check you. I worried you might be eat sand or something since you're drunk."

Kendall murmured, "I wouldn't."

James chuckled, "So I brought you back to your condo… actually I left you on the porch. Are you okay…"

Kendall had no idea where he got the power or willing, but he brought their body together. He kissed James lips in another frenzied kiss. James parted his lips to give Kendall entranced.

Kendall felt happiness. He didn't care about everything else except the moment they just made. He just cared about the brunet, about what the other guy thought about him. He just cared about what's coming next.

James broke the kiss, he opened his eyes, "You need to leave." He whispered.

Kendall sighed, "I know," he didn't bother himself to open his eyes, buried his face on James' neck, place a soft kiss there, "I need to leave."

"Yes," James nodded, he stepped back to see Kendall clearer, "Although I don't want you to leave, but… this need to be ended."

Kendall smiled, "Yeah. I understand."

James grabbed his hand before Kendall stepped out, "Can I ask you for dinner sometimes?"

That's a date.

Kendall nodded, "Whenever you're ready and not busy." He pointed to James' laptop, "I think we can make it."

James smirked, "Alright. Now," he opened the door, "Get your ass out of here. You're a distraction."

Kendall laughed, "Thanks, Mr. Diamond."

He didn't understand what was really happened between them but he liked it. He didn't care what would happen next, all Kendall cared was only he liked the brunet as much as he liked Shane.

Jo almost dropped her jaws, "I don't believe it," she finally broke the silence.

Once Kendall drove his Mom back to their house, he went to Jo's apartment. He really needed to talk to someone. He knew he couldn't talk to his band mates, well maybe he could talk to Logan, but right now, all he needed was a person who could use both brain and heart at the same time.

"Me too," Kendall rested his head on the couch, "I don't believe I just kissed James Diamond and he admitted he likes me."

Jo shivered, "Yeah, but… crap, it all happened! Oh God…" she closed her mouth, "I don't believe James Diamond is a gay."

"Yeah, he's totally a straight guy you know… incredibly fucking handsome." Kendall sighed, "Fuck,"

Jo laughed, "Oh my God! What's he like? Did he a good kisser?"

Kendall couldn't hide his smile, "Yeah… for someone who never had a kiss before, he… he's really good."

"Aw…" Jo blushed, "You're officially his first kiss. That's sexy."

Kendall smiled, "He smells so good too…"

Jo couldn't stop smiling, "He's like a living Christian Grey you know…"

"Who's Christian Grey?" Kendall frowned. He never heard that name before in any news anywhere.

"A sexy character, you wouldn't know." Jo murmured, "So, you'll call him tonight?"

Kendall shook his head, "Why?"

Jo's eyes widened, "Uh… because both of you had a kiss and… don't you think you need bring this relationship more serious? It wasn't a one night stand, Kendall."

Right, she was fucking right.

"Maybe," Kendall shrugged, "I'll figure it out later."

Jo pinched his arm, "He said he wanted to ask you for dinner! It meant he wanted this relationship – whatever it is – going somewhere, huh?"

"Yeah," Kendall nodded. He didn't know either. He didn't understand why this happened so fast to him even before he could think about this possibility.

Jo sighed, "Camille and Presley will be here in 20 minutes. You want to stay?"

"Why they're here?" Kendall took a cupcake from the table, "You made this?"

Jo nodded, "Yes. New recipe, what do you think?"

"It tastes heavenly," Kendall took another bite, "So, why they're coming?"

"We're going to make a video called blind makeup challenge," Jo answered his question, "You won't understand."

Kendall chuckled, "Alright. I'm leaving," he woke from the couch and hug her tight, "See you this weekend?"

Jo nodded, "Saturday it is." She kissed his cheek, "Did you change your cologne?" she frowned.

Kendall shook his head, "Never, why?"

She stepped closer to sniff him, "You smell different… oh!" suddenly she laughed, "It must be James'."

"What?"

Jo laughed louder, "Oh God!" she sniffed more, "So this is how James Diamond smelled like… He's perfect."

Kendall rolled his eyes, "I'm leaving."

"You smelled like him, Kendall!" Jo shouted and Kendall just waved at her without turned his head.

"You gotta be kidding me!" Logan yelled on the phone. Kendall had to put his phone away before his friend's voice broke his ear.

Kendall sighed, "I wish I could say so."

"So that's true? Whoa… James Diamond? You're fucking nuts!"

Kendall rested his body on his comfortable bed, "I am… Logan, I call you because I need advice okay not you for insulting me."

Logan laughed, "Sorry. This is too fucking hilarious. I mean… James Diamond. Wow."

"Yeah, okay, I'll call you later then…"

"Dude, this is insane. You realized that?"

"More than anything… so, how am I supposed to do?" Kendall gave a massage on his head. The more he thought about this the more painful his head was.

"Uh… I think it will be fine if you call him, take him to dinner and stuffs. I mean, he's only 2 years older than you. He is a normal guy who knows how to have fun, right?"

Kendall nodded, "Yeah but… he is James Diamond."

"And you are Kendall Knight. Who the fuck cares? He admitted he likes you and you two kissed on his office. Just enjoyed…"

"It's not that simple…"

"Well, it is. You like him too, right?"

Kendall sighed, "I'm afraid I like him because he looks like Shane a lot."

"No. Listen, it's been 5 years and you had move on. This is James not Shane, and you like him."

"I guess…"

"Don't think too much. You need to learn how to enjoy the moment you have now. Let the past in the past."

Logan had a point. He always has.

"Right," Kendall woke to sit on his bed, "Thanks, Logge."

"Anytime, Man. You know… Camille was right."

His fucking girlfriend, "What she said?"

"She said, soon or later, Kendall and James will be together. You know, what funny is, she said it yesterday."

Kendall murmured, "Uh huh… it's too soon, huh?"

"Zero, now I think you better call him and you know… make a move?"

Damn.

Kendall never thought he would do this kind of thing.

"Okay."

"Did Camille know about this?"

Kendall shook his head, "No. Uh… don't say the words, I'll tell her."

"Sure. Good luck, Buddy!"

Kendall dropped his phone on his side. He stared blankly on the ceiling, thinking about how he called James, what he should said first. Was it Hi or What's up…

His phone ringing, he grabbed it and answered the phone without checked who's calling first.

"Hello…" he answered lazily.

"Hi, Kendall Knight,"

Kendall was immediately in a sit position once he heard that voice, "James?"

"Yes, it's me. James Diamond,"

Holy fucking shit.

"Oh… yeah… Hi."

"Do I call you in the wrong time?"

"No," Kendall shook his head, "I just… shocked you know…"

"Sorry. I should have to tell you earlier I will call."

Kendall never treated like this before. James was so polite even when they had a kiss 6 hours ago.

"It's okay… How did you get my number?"

"Uh… I… I asked my assistant to find your number on Venice Music Festival's document. Is that wrong?"

Fuck.

"Kendall, are you mad at me?"

"No," Kendall shook his head. He didn't know how he supposed to answer. James did something to get his number.

"Where are you?"

"I'm home."

"Where is your home?"

Kendall sat on the edge of his bed, "Uh… Hummingbird Hills,"

"Oh… you stay there. It's one of my housing complexes."

Did he need to say it right now?

"Right, for your information, we already pay the house. I don't owe you anything," Kendall chuckled.

Far away there, James laughed, "Thank you, Mr. Knight."

Kendall smiled, "I like the way you called me that way."

"Mr. Knight?"

"Yeah,"

"I won't call you that forever. That will be odd."

Kendall mumbled, "I know. Where are you? You sound so quite."

"I'm on my room,"

He turned to see the clock hanging on the wall. It's almost 1 am, "Did you just got home?"

"Yes, is it obvious in my voice?"

Kendall chuckled, "No, just a guess."

"Do that again for me."

"What?"

"Your chuckle, I like that."

Kendall smirked, "You know, we sound like chicks right now."

"You think so?" James laughed.

"Yeah," Kendall smiled, "I don't know CEO finished his work this late."

"I hate putting off my job,"

Kendall could imagine how James talking to him right now. He might be sat on his bed or his luxury couch.

"Such a workaholic, aren't you?" Kendall smirked.

"Sort of," James sighed, "I hate talking on the phone."

"Why?"

"The radiation is not good for health. Can you… come here?"

Kendall needed something to hit his head really hard so it would make him realized that all he heard was the truth.

"You know… You can say it if you don't want…"

"Where I should go?"


	9. Chapter 9

"I like being here," James looked up to the clear sky.

They were at the roof of Diamond Enterprise building. Kendall had no idea how he got here, he just drove and yet here he was with the owner of half America's hotels and apartments. There're only two of them.

James turned his head to see Kendall "Thank you for coming, Kendall Knight."

"Yeah," Kendall nodded, "Why you like being here… I mean, it's only a roof."

Roof.

_ "I never bring anyone here before. I mean, I know this only a roof but I love this place, it's my favorite place because it's quite and none can sees me. It's only me and sky." _

Déjà vu again… fuck.

Shane loved roof and James likes the same thing too. Why God did this to him?

Kendall stared at the brunet next to him. James did the same thing, only he smiled, "I like being here because… it's quite and none sees me. The sky is so beautiful from here."

Fuck. The same reason!

"Of course it's beautiful. Your building has 21 floors."

James chuckled, "Where's your favorite place?"

Kendall shrugged. He never had any favorite places before, not even one, "I don't have any."

"Really?" James asked in a shock like he didn't believe there's someone who didn't have their favorite place.

Kendall nodded, "Guess… it's my room."

James pulled his knees to his chest, "Why?"

Kendall didn't have any decent answer to those questions, "Because… my room is a place where I keep all of my guitars and where I can write my music."

James smiled, "Since when you play music?"

"Do you really need to ask everything?" Kendall annoyed, "I don't mind but… this is our first time together when I'm sober so…"

James chuckled, "Such a bitch."

"What?" Kendall almost laughed hearing James cursed.

"I try to know you better and you just ruined that moment," James grumbled, "You're not fun."

Kendall rolled his eyes, "Sorry."

"If you don't want me to ask so many questions, then what do you want me to do?" James challenged him.

Kendall shrugged, "I don't know. You're the one who asked me to come."

"Sing for me," James ordered. He rested his back on the wall, crossed his hands in front of his chest then slowly closing his eyes.

Kendall frowned, "Why?"

"Because I said so," James answered without bother himself to open his eyes, "I like your voice. So, stop bitching and sing to me."

Kendall laughed, "I don't want to."

"Sing to me, Kendall Knight."

God! Was his name really sexy?

Kendall started to play, "What you're gonna do if I don't want to?"

James opened his eyes and took a deep breath. He shrugged, "I'll kiss your lips."

Kendall let out a deep sigh, "I prefer to not singing then." He laughed.

"Good choice," James stated. He pulled Kendall closer to his body then started to kiss the blond's lips.

Kendall put his hands over the brunet's waist, closing the distance between them. It felt so good. James' hand pulled the beanie over Kendall's head and grasped on the blond locks. Fuck, was it has to be this good?

James tasted so pure and good. There's a hint of peppermint, but mostly it was only him. God, this was too tempting for Kendall. It's a passionately kiss, the best kiss that Kendall ever had.

Again, James was the one who broke the kiss, "What's your plan tomorrow?"

"Are you serious asking that question?" Kendall mumbled, feeling a little bit upset because James just broke their perfect moment, "We're in the middle of making out."

James laughed.

"I don't have anything. Why?" Kendall murmured.

James placed a soft peck on Kendall's lips, "Good. I'll take you somewhere," Before Kendall could respond, James kissed him and the blond immediately kissed him back. The kiss, the wind, the clear sky, the moonlight, everything mixed beautifully like it all has been planned. Kendall wished it was never end.

"What?" his Mom frowned. Kendall sat in front of his Mom, they just finished breakfast.

It's Friday and Kendall was going to meet James.

"Uh… I'm going to visit a friend," Kendall had no idea how to tell his Mom. He couldn't just tell her 'Mom, I'll go with James Diamond today' that wasn't a best plan.

His Mom just nodded, "Which friend exactly? They're not your band?"

Even Kendall already 21 year old and had a cool job but his Mom still being overprotective.

"No," Kendall shook his head.

His Mom shrugged, "Whatever. You'll come home late?"

"Probably," Kendall nodded. He didn't know what to say because he had no idea where James was going to take him.

"Alright," Jennifer placed a soft kiss on her son's forehead, "Have fun!"

After sent his Mom to work, Kendall rushed taking the stairs to his room. He packed everything he might be needed like clothes, wallet, charger and his phone. Everything fit in his backpack.

Where the brunet would take him?

His phone rang, it's James.

"Yeah?" Kendall answered the phone, his heart thumping as he nervous.

"Good morning," Kendall almost could imagine the brunet over there was smiling, "Are you ready?"

Kendall nodded, "Yep. Where are we going?"

"It's not surprise if I tell you. Where I should pick you up?"

Whoa. This was too much for Kendall to handle. James would pick him up? No freaking way!

"How about I meet you somewhere?"

"Why?"

Damn you, James!

"Because… I didn't tell my Mom that I'm going with you."

"Oh, right. Alright, I'll meet you on parking lot at my office, how about that?"

Kendall frowned. He could hear James sounded a bit upset, "Are you mad?"

"No. I just… surprised. Drive safely, Kendall. See you soon."

"See you."

Kendall arrived at the Diamond Global Enterprise building and he didn't see James anywhere and yet he didn't know what kind of car that James used today. He had a feeling it wasn't a Corvette Stingray like when they met at Macy's.

He felt more nervous than before. It's all because he didn't tell anyone about this, not even Jo or Logan. Kendall felt, this was something that he wanted to keep only to himself and James. He felt the need to figure it out first.

His phone rang.

Crap! Camille!

"Ha…"

_"When do you planning to tell me that you and James is a thing now?" _she spurted, not giving Kendall a chance to say Hello.

Kendall sighed, "Hey, Cam. Sorry, I was going to call you yesterday but…"

_ "Uh huh. I don't need your reason. So?" _

"What?"

Camille let out a deep sigh, _"You and James?" _

"Kinda," Kendall didn't know what to say, "I don't know. We haven't figured it out yet, we're just… kiss and talk."

_ "Wow interesting!"_ Camille chuckled, _"I hope the best for you guys." _

Kendall grinned, from here he could imagine Camille's happy face, "Thanks."

_ "Let's have lunch today! I want the full story."_

"I'm busy," Kendall stopped talking when someone knocked the window. It's the Greek God, wore his Ray-Ban aviator, smiling at him.

Kendall opened the window then signed James to not talking, the brunet frowned but he obeyed. He walked to the other side, sat on the passenger seat.

_"Kendall?" _

"Yeah," Kendall pointed to his phone, James just gave him a nod, "Sorry, I can't. I have… plan."

_"Oh, that's bad. Jo asked me to meet her tomorrow, she said you'll come." _

"Yes, I'll come tomorrow." Kendall couldn't take his eyes from James. He looked too handsome today in a black unbuttoned shirt, showing of half of his muscular chest, a blue jeans that shaping his perfect long legs, hanging on the golden torso of him. James was also shaved his facial hair and damn, his clean face was something special God sent from Heaven.

_ "You sound distracted, what's wrong?" _

James smiled, placing kisses on all over Kendall's jaw line. Did James just teasing him?

That's sexy.

Kendall sighed, "Yeah… I… I can't talk right now, Camille."

Once James heard his cousin's name, he stopped his action. Otherwise, he stared at Kendall as he asked for answer.

_"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow then! Don't forget to tell me the full story." _

"Sure… yeah," Kendall just nodded then hanging up the phone.

James frowned, "Why she called you?"

"She asked about you," Kendall moved his body closer to James, placed a gentle peck on the brunet's pink lips, "Good morning."

James smiled, "Good morning, Kendall Knight."

Kendall always loves how James always calls him in a full name. His name sounded sexier.

"So," James exhaled, "Why Camille asked about me?"

"She suspected us," Kendall smirked, "She knew you're gay."

James rolled his eyes, "Not a surprise,"

Kendall squeezed James' shoulder, "So, where are we going?"

"My favorite places." James answered proudly, "And we're taking my ride. You can leave your car here."

Kendall obeyed, "Okay." he took his backpack from backseat and followed James got out from car.

James wore his sun glasses, "Come on."

They didn't walk to another car but walked to the other side of the building, seemed like they were heading to the rear of building. Kendall didn't ask anything even though he had no idea why they're here.

They took the elevator and up to the top of the building.

"Do you hate flying?" James randomly asked the question. The brunet typed something on his phone.

Kendall shook his head, "No. I'm cool. Why?"

"Nothing," James smiled, "Anyway, I like your outfits today."

Kendall swore he didn't know how to respond. Why James liked his outfits? He wore an article white t-shirt with a black cardigan and a black jeans, he also wore the gray beanie.

"My most favorite is you on your beanie," James stepped closer, "It suits you perfectly."

_ "I like your beanie. It's like you and beanie are meant to be together."_

Why this was happening to him?

Why James and Shane liked the same things?

Kendall pulled out his beanie then placed it on James' head, touched the brunet locks to make it neat, "It suits you well, too."

James smiled, "Really?" he touched the beanie, "I never wore something like this before."

Kendall nodded, "You wear it better than me," he felt satisfy.

James turned his head to see his reflection on the mirror on the elevator wall, "I like it."

"You can have it if you want," Kendall put his hand around James' waist, "I told you, you wear it better, ten thousand times."

James laughed, "Thanks."

The ring on elevator signed them that they've arrived on their floor. James walked out first and Kendall followed him behind. They were not in a room but they're on the roof but this wasn't a roof from yesterday. It's another one, probably the other side, Kendall wasn't sure.

"Good morning, Mr. Diamond." A middle age man greeted James. He looked like an FBI agent or something.

James nodded, "Good morning, Tom."

Tom – his assistant or whatever – smiled to Kendall, "Good morning, Sir."

Kendall felt the most awkward moment in his life. He never treated like this before, "Morning."

Tom nodded then walking to James' side, "Your Euro is ready to go, Sir."

"Thank you."

"Is it a near or far distance, Sir?"

James turned to see Kendall who walked behind him. He smiled and Kendall just shrugged. He didn't know about their plan so why James felt the need to turn as he asked Kendall's permission.

What James meant with his ride was a black – silver Eurocopter. Kendall tried his best to not dropping his jaws.

"This is your ride?" Kendall smirked.

James smiled, "Yes. I like the fastest ride, Kendall."

"Enjoy your fly, Sir." Tom intruded the conversation then slowly leaving them.

Kendall landed a punch on James' shoulder, "Such a cocky young man, huh?"

James just laughed, "You have no problem, right? I hate traffic."

They got into the luxury Eurocopter. James helped Kendall to place his backpack on the back seat.

"I have no idea what are you doing, James." Kendall mumbled as he wore his safety belt, "I don't know what you do to make money."

James ignored him. He put the headphone on Kendall's head instead, "Ready to fly, Mr. Knight?"

Kendall nodded, "Are you sure you can drive this helicopter?"

"This is my first try," James joked, "Of course I can, Kendall! I won't do something stupid and bring you to the death."

Kendall remembered about the article he read about James, "This is your hobby, huh?" Kendall chuckled.

James started the first thing to do before flying, "How did you know?" he turned his head to see Kendall before talking to someone he called tower.

"I just now," Kendall felt they moved higher. He saw they're moved higher and higher until slowly leaving the roof.

James grabbed Kendall's hand, "This is your first time?"

"Yeah," Kendall nodded, "I never took helicopter before or sat on co-pilot's chair. This is awesome!"

James smiled, "I'm glad you like it."

"It's cool to be you," Kendall said honestly, "You can do everything. I'm wondering, what you can't do."

James shook his head, "No, it's cool to be you. You can be everything you want."

Kendall felt there's sadness on James eyes, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," James turned his head. Hands still holding the steer, "Do you want to drive?"

Kendall's eyes widened, "Hell no. Thanks."

James laughed, "It's easy."

"Yeah, it's easy for you to say. I prefer to be a good passenger and enjoy the trip. Thanks."

James caressed Kendall's head, "Everything you want, Kendall Knight."

There it was.

The moment where Kendall's heart being touched by simple words from James, the brunet almost made Kendall had heart attack only with fucking words. What was it?

The flight was only an hour or so. They arrived at the empty ground, "Where are we?" Kendall took off his safety belt.

James smiled, "Venice. We're going to my home."

Once they got off from the Eurocopter, the twosome headed to another luxury ride of James Diamond.

"How many cars do you have?" Kendall asked before got into the newest version Chevrolet Camaro SS.

"A few," James answered humbly.

Kendall rolled his eyes, "Liar."

James just shrugged then turned on the engine. They slowly left the helipad. Kendall had to admit that James was a good driver – either it's a car or helicopter.

"I'll cook for lunch." James stated.

Kendall mumbled, "Are you going to show off all of your skills today?"

"I try my best," James chuckled, "What do you want to eat?"

"Uh…" Kendall stared to the road, "Surprise me?"

The car pulled into a minimalist house across the Venice canals. Really, this James Diamond must be the richest young man.

James turned off the engine, "Welcome to my home."

The house was all in gray. It was two stories house with a minimalist model. Kendall liked it, the house reflecting James perfectly.

"You live here?"

James shook his head, "Weekdays, I live in my apartment in LA then I spend my weekend here." He opened the door. The inside of the house was more interesting than the outside. It was surprising that this house wasn't a luxury one.

"Alone?" Kendall dropped his backpack on the floor.

"Yes," James took Kendall's backpack and placed it on the couch, "How old are you, fifteen?"

Kendall chuckled, "Sorry, old habit." He comforted himself on the black couch, took off his cardigan.

James came back – Kendall didn't realize the brunet was gone – with two cans of soda. He threw it one to the blond.

"Do you like surfing?"

Kendall nodded, "I barely hit the beach but it's one of my favorite."

"Good. I love surfing." James said happily. He checked his watch, "It's almost 9 and the weather is good. How about we hit the waves?"

Kendall's eyes sharpened, "Can we?"

"Yes, do you bring your trunks?" James asked a little bit worry, since he didn't tell Kendall about their plan.

Kendall pouted, "Luckily, I do."

"That's relief," James sighed, "Sorry for not telling you earlier, I thought it would… romantic if I surprised you."

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Kendall gulped, "This is romantic."

"Thanks," James smirked, "I'll show you your room."

Kendall followed the elder male to the second floor. The house was really a usual house, there's nothing luxury.

Maybe this was the real reflection of James. The brunet maybe wasn't a glamorous one.

"This is my room," James opened the first brown door then stepped out to open another door, "This is your room."

Kendall crossed his hands on the chest, "Why we have a separate room?"

"Pardon?" James' eyes widened.

Kendall stepped closer, touched James' chin, "Can we just shared our room?" he whispered.

James' face faded out, "Uh… Kendall…"

Kendall chuckled, "I'm just kidding," he pecked James' lips, "I'll take 5 for change my clothes." He walked to his room leaving the brunet who now cursing him because the tease.

Today's going to be a great day.

James was obviously a Surf God came down from Heaven. This brunet totally killed their surfing time with hitting almost every perfect wave. Kendall tried his best to not zooning out every time he sees James danced on the surf board.

God!

Kendall wondering what James couldn't do actually?

"You have a good time?" James dried his body – the muscular tan well building body – with a towel.

Kendall did the same, "Big time." He smiled. Honestly, this was the best thing happened to Kendall, at least this week. He missed hit the wave, missed the adrenalin and the feel when he's on the surf board.

James smiled, "I'm so glad you enjoy it."

"It feels like…" Kendall breathed heavily, "Just like the old times when me and my Dad went for surfing once a week."

James caught the sadness on Kendall's eyes, "What happened?"

Kendall turned his head, the brunet facing him, pure hazel eyes staring at him, "He died 5 years ago."

"Kendall, I'm sorry," James held his hand, "I really am."

He nodded, wrapped their fingers together, "Don't worry. I've through this. I'd let him go."

This was the moment that Kendall wanted. It's only him and James with their hands wrapped each other, the sound of the waves and the perfect weather on the beach.

James smiled, "You know… my Dad never taught me anything."

Kendall's eyes widened. How could?

"He's really busy. He did everything to build Diamond Enterprise and almost forget that he has family. My Mom almost left him until she realized she's pregnant." James stared at the beach. His voice sounded weak.

Kendall never saw him like this.

"They were really happy because I'm a boy." James turned his head to Kendall, "You know… heir must be a boy."

Kendall gulped, "Like a prince?"

"Yeah, I treated like a prince. I have everything and I can do everything. I like my life except the fact that my Dad never taught me anything. I am who I am now is really from what I learn at school but he's so proud like he put effort on me,"

Kendall didn't know the earlier life of James Diamond was that pity. He remembered how his Dad struggled to teach him how to bike, teach him how to play basketball, football even field hockey.

"My family is a perfect family, Kendall." James stated. He sounded very strained, "My parents see me perfect enough. I graduated from Harvard Business School as the best graduation. I'm a CEO of my company in my earlier 20's. The problem is…" he pulled their hands to his bare chest, "I'm gay. I like guys, I like you and they won't accept this."

Kendall speechless, he didn't know what to say.

"I like you more than I should even though we're just… how many days since I met you?" he frowned.

Kendall chuckled, "I don't know… uh… yesterday?"

"Right," James nodded in agreement, "Yesterday was the official day for us when both of them are sober and we talked."

Kendall nodded, "Sober. Right,"

"What should I do?" James asked in a low voice. His eyes locked to Kendall's eyes, "I don't think this only a crush. I know I barely know you… but… hell, I feel like I'm under the spell."

Kendall chuckled, "Don't you think we're not switched up? You are the James Diamond and I'm just Kendall, random guy from the band."

"Fuck that shit," James smirked, "I don't care who you are and what you do. I just care about this," he raised their hands, "Your hand perfectly fits in mine like they're meant to be together. This is all I cared, my time with you, Kendall Knight."

Kendall turned his body to face the tan next to him. James closed his eyes, fallen into deep sleep, breathed softly next to Kendall, his hands never moving, still wrapping Kendall's bare waist.

Kendall's right hand raised, fingers running down on the brunet locks, "I like you too much. Don't you think we're too early for this? I don't think you know much about me and neither do I."

He admired the Adonis' face. He never stopped thinking how someone could look alike too much?

This was too much to handle.

_ "I don't know about you, but… I know we know each other for only a week and I already like you so much. After all, you are the only one that I cared the most, Kendall. Either this is too early or not, I don't care." _

The memory of Shane back to his mind painfully. Kendall closed his eyes, breathed heavily.

Kendall nodded, "I know. I like you too much I guess."

_ "Good," Shane wrapped their hands, "Because I do too. Hey, it's almost your birthday, what do you want?" _

_ "I don't know," Kendall shook his head, "I guess, I just want you." _

_ "You want me as a birthday gift? Wow. That's too much for asked, Greedy! Well… maybe I can hide on the big box, wrapped a red ribbon on my head. How about that?" _

Kendall could feel his tears started to fall. Every time the flashback of Shane comes, it's torturing him.

"Kendall?" James' voice broke the silence, "What's wrong?"

He shook his head and pulled James' body to him, buried his face on James' bare chest. The brunet caressed his back, calming him. Kendall could feel a soft kiss landed on his head.

"I'm here, Kendall." James whispered on Kendall's earlobe. His words magically healed the pain.

"Sorry," Kendall released their hug, "I… there's memory that I don't want to remember smacked my brain."

James smiled, gently caressed Kendall's head, "It's okay." he pecked on Kendall's lips, "Feel better?"

"Absolutely," Kendall smiled, "I could stay here forever if you act like this."

James chuckled, "I have to work and so you are. We're not a lazy ass couple, Kendall."

Couple

The brunet seemed shocked with his own words, "I mean…"

"I know," Kendall nodded, "We don't have to figure it out now. I'm not going anywhere."

James smiled, "Thank you."

"Do you think we should get up and go home? It's almost 6 am…" Kendall showed James his watch.

James shrugged, "I don't have anything to do today…"

"Unfortunately, I have a plan. I promised Jo for lunch," Kendall smiled wryly.

James nodded, "Oh… Jo is the blonde one you brought on Venice Music Festival?"

"Yeah,"

"Who is she?"

Kendall smiled. He remembered James stared at them tensely, "She's my best friend."

James looked relief, "I thought she is…"

"My girlfriend?" Kendall cut him, "So, you're jealous that day…"

"What?" James shook his head, face turning read, "No. I'm not jealous."

Kendall teased, "The more you deny, the more you show me the proof." He raised his body, half pressing the brunet's body.

James raised an eyebrow, "No."

"You are, wow…" Kendall amazed, "I don't know James Diamond can feel jealous too."

James landed a soft punch on Kendall's shoulder, "Shut up."

Kendall laughed, "I like when you're jealous. You stared at me like you're going to kill me, but that's really sexy you know."

"I said I'm not jealous," James insisted. The brunet woke to sit, stretched his hands and behind him Kendall watched him in amazed.

"Fuck, you're sexy badass." Kendall breathed heavily.

James looked over his shoulder, "Uh huh. I bet you like what you see, Ken." He smirked then walked to bathroom.

"Fuck," Kendall laughed. He stared at the ceiling, mind never stop thinking and working.

Maybe Shane was right. He didn't need to think too much, he only needs to enjoy the moment they have right now.

Jo, Camille, Logan and Carlos were already on the bistro. Kendall was arrived a bit late – considering he's really tired after spent his Friday with James and just got home at 9 am on Saturday. He was so damn tired.

"Whoaaa…" Jo hugged Kendall tightly, "Someone just got tanned."

Kendall smiled, "Hi." He greeted everyone, included gave Camille a warm hug and the petite girl obviously suspicious on him.

Thank God both of them – Jo and Camille – didn't say anything.

The lunch went great. Kendall really had a good time with his best friends even though Dustin wasn't there because family matter.

"So, what are you doing yesterday?" Camille asked Kendall in a challenge motion.

This bitch!

Kendall shrugged, "Nothing."

"How did you get tan so fast?" now it's Carlos turns.

Kendall stared to each eyes of his friends. What he supposed to say? Was he better be honest or not? This was nothing to do with he didn't trust them but he didn't know what they would think.

Of course they would support Kendall because they're his best friends but…

Now or never

He couldn't hide this forever.

"I went to Venice with James." and that's all being said.

Carlos almost spilled his drink, eyes staring at Kendall in shock. Logan worse, he dropped his fork to the plate – was it too much?

Jo and Camille… they almost fainted.

None said anything.

None

Fuck. This was a bad sign.

Kendall cleared his throat, "It's not a big deal." He added to try to break the silence.

"Are you nuts?" Logan was the one who finally opened his mouth, "He is James Diamond."

Kendall nodded, "Yeah. I though you're the one who said 'who the hell cares? He is James Diamond and you are Kendall Knight' thing." He quoted.

Logan blanked off, "I… I don't know… this could happen so fast."

"Wow," Carlos mouthed. He pushed his drink, losing his appetite.

Jo took a deep breath, "Okay, uh… what exactly you both doing?"

"Did you and James drive to Venice? Did he took you to his house?" that's Camille

Logan rested his back to the chair, "This is beyond my imagination."

Camille landed a punch on his arm, "Stop bitching, Logie! They both are cute together okay!"

Kendall couldn't help but smiling.

"You better tell us what happened, Kendall. Before your fan hit me more." Logan annoyed.

"Okay," Kendall nodded, "Uh… After I met him at his office…"

"What?!"

Kendall totally forgot that he hadn't told Camille yet, "Sorry. Okay… so, I drove my Mom to his office for a meeting. I swear I don't know anything about that. Uh… We met then I braced myself to talk to him after their meeting."

Carlos frowned, "Why you need to talk to him?"

Again, Kendall totally forgot that not all his best friend knew about him and James and this crazy thing.

Kendall sighed, "Okay, take 2. Do you remember Shane Adams, the guy that I've talked about 5 years ago, the guy that…" this was too hard, he could feel Jo's hand wrapped his hand, giving him power to speak out, "the guy that I loved."

Carlos nodded, "I remember. He's the one that you've met at the hospital."

"Right, that guy," Kendall sighed, he could feel all eyes on him, waiting for him to tell the whole story, "When we're in New York, I jogged and I thought I saw ghost of him but it wasn't. He's James Diamond. Since I have no idea who is James Diamond and I still thinking him as Shane, I ran after him."

Camille gave him a 'now you tell me' look.

"I insisted he is Shane and James insisted he isn't. Of course he does. Then… we met him during our meeting with Camille. Then… we met him again in Venice."

Carlos' eyes widened, he mouthed a wow.

Kendall caught the oxygen, "I drunk because I can't hold the pain. The more I see James the more flashback memories of Shane back to me and it's not easy for me. I sat on the seaside when suddenly James came. He gave me a compliment for our show and asked about New York, why I insisted he was the guy that I know. I was too drunk and honestly I don't remember what I said to him but… I remembered that I kissed him."

"He walked out. He left me on the seaside then came back and brought me to the porch."

"Oh my God!" Jo whispered.

Kendall nodded, "I met him at his office. I wanted to talk to him, I want to ask for apologize but there… I got his confession. He told me he… he liked me since the first day we met."

"New York?!" that's a hysterical Camille.

Kendall gave another nod, "Yes. He confessed that he liked me. He couldn't take his mind off of me. I have no idea how and why but then I remembered that's how I felt when I'm with Shane. I barely knew him but I liked him more than I should."

Camille wiped her tears, "This story hundred better than any other fictions everywhere!"

Kendall chuckled, "Do you want me to continue or not?"

"Continue please," Jo insisted.

"I don't know where the power comes, I just… I didn't think anything. I just pulled his body and kissed him and he kissed me back. Then, he called me that night, asked me to come to his office roof. We talked a lot then there's his craziness started. He told about his plan to take me somewhere and the somewhere is Venice. He took me to his house. We went to the beach, surfing, he cooked me lunch and dinner and stayed up all night. We talked a lot."

Kendall let out a deep sigh, "That's all. That's how I got tan."

Camille grabbed his hand, "You must be really important to James."

"Why?" Kendall frowned, "I mean… yeah, he said he likes me a lot but…"

"He never took anyone to his house, Kendall. He never let anyone as a random people he didn't know much, sitting on his car, go surfing with him, or cooking for him, never in history that ever happened."

Kendall speechless, was he that important to James?

"He is extremely picky. Even his Dad never sat on his car…"

Kendall felt the need to clarify something, "We don't take car as a ride… We take his Eurocopter."

Carlos' eyes widened more. Kendall worried the Latino's eyes would drop anytime soon, "You gotta be kidding me!"

Camille gulped, "Wow. He really has something for you, Kendall Knight. For your information, none can touch his ride especially his helicopters and you just put your butt there?" she raised her hands up, "Nothing to say."

"Uh…" Kendall felt something hit his head. He felt happy and worry at the same time.

"Kendall," Jo pulled him into a warm hug, "You really important for him!"

Should this all happening to him? Should James like him that much? How if Kendall didn't like the brunet as much as he did? How if Kendall like James because Shane's shadows?


	10. Chapter 10

**_HEY GUYS! I'm so happy that some of you beautiful people like my first fic. Like I said, I wrote it back in 2014 and uploaded on wattpad but then I really wanted to upload in this website. So here's the chapter 10! I hope you guys enjoy it. Please R&R. _**

**_Oh, don't forget to check out my second fic, A SKY FULL OF STARS. _**

**_LOVE YOU GUYS OODLES AND OODLES! _**

* * *

><p><em> Kendall jumped out from the car, right hand holding a cake box and left hand locking the car's doors. He's too excited for today. On your birthday, nothing better than spend with people you love. <em>

_ He ran through the hallway until he reached the elevators. He pushed the elevators' up button, impatient waiting for the silver doors to finally opens. Moments later, the elevators door opened, two nurses and some people managed to get out. _

_ "Kendall," one of the nurses called his name, "How are you?" _

_ He smiled, "Never been better," he managed to get in, clicked the 5th button, "See you!" he called out when the elevators door slid closing._

_ Shane's room was in the end of the hallway. He could imagine how happy Shane was when the brunet saw him in his doorstep. Kendall couldn't stop smiling. He always wants to do this with someone that meant so much to him._

_ His Mom promised she would come after finishing her works. Kendall couldn't wait to introduce Shane to his Mom. Boyfriend? Yeah, they'd figured it out. Whatever this relationship called, Kendall only care that he loved Shane and the brunet too. That's all. _

_ The room was empty. Shane was seen nowhere. _

_ "Excuse me," Kendall called the nurse who just passed Shane's room. _

_ He knew she's Grace, one of the nurses who taking care of Shane's medication, "Where's Shane?" _

_ Grace looked surprise and confuse, "Uh… None called you?" _

_ "No, why?"_

_ She looked so uncomfortable, her eyes learning Kendall's confuse face, "He died last night… I mean, early morning." _

_ Kendall could feel his ears started ringing, "You must be kidding me!" he insisted, most likely for himself even though he knew for sure that this nurse telling the truth._

_ Grace holding Kendall's shoulder, "Kendall, calm down." _

_ Kendall's knees started to limp, ears' ringing, body's shaking, head's banging. He wanted to deny the fact that Shane was died. The brunet called him in the middle of the night, 12 on the dot, to say him happy birthday, to give him birthday wishes then he just died? _

_ "Kendall!" _

_ The cake dropped to the floor, broken into pieces._

_ Tears falling down from Kendall's eyes and his sight getting more blurry. This was too much for handle. How could Shane do this to him on his birthday? Shane promised he would celebrate Kendall's birthday together. _

_ Fucking liar!_

_ The last thing Kendall remembered was him on the car with his Mom on their way back to home._

Kendall just finished the band's practice. He packed his things back to his backpack and made his way to the door, "Bye, Guys." He waved his hand to the rest of band members.

"Where are you going?" Logan asked.

Kendall actually had no idea where he would be going, "Uh… James?"

Dustin chuckled, "You both are so cute," he mocked. Now, all of his best friends knew about him and James. The brunet seemed fine with this, they are Kendall's best friends after all.

"Play safely!" Carlos shouted.

Kendall rolled his eyes, "Shut up!" he pushed the door then walked out even he still hearing his friends' laugh and mocks.

He tucked to his jeans pocket to find the car key while his phone's ringing. It must be James.

"Hello?"

"Kendall Knight." his usual greets, "Where are you?"

Kendall threw his backpack to the backseat, "Studio. Where are you?"

"Office," James answered shortly, "How about I meet you at Lif Apartment?"

Kendall nodded, the stupid thing he always does, "Okay. What time?"

"Now?"

He chuckled, "Your wish, Command."

"Good. I miss you."

Kendall's heart stops beating, "I miss you too, James." This was too fucking cute, they just met yesterday and miss each other already? This was the best thing to start his Monday after all.

Nothing was sexier than James Diamond wearing a black tank top and blue skinny jeans with his shade on. Kendall tried his best to not open his mouth or worse, drooling. He smiled and waved to the brunet who walked towards him from the elevators.

"So, this is where you live." Kendall smirked, "Not bad."

James smiled not impressed at all, "Thanks. You drive here?"

"Yeah," Kendall nodded, "I wanna drive today." He didn't want to be the girl in this relationship – what's their relationship anyway? Kendall didn't want to think about that, not today when his partner was fucking hot.

"Alright," James agreed, "Let's see how you drive, Kendall Knight. If I don't like it, you're fired."

Kendall laughed, "I bet my driving skill is better than you."

"Huh?" James shrugged, "Come on. I hate being late."

They both headed to the basement where Kendall parked his car. James seemed busy with his phones – answering phone call and email – and Kendall just walked, sometimes he took a peek to see what James doing.

"You're busy." Kendall commented when they got in the car.

James frowned, "I'm so sorry, Kendall. There's… something on the office and I feel the need to take care by myself."

Kendall leaned his face to give the brunet a soft kiss on the lips, "It's okay, I don't want to be a distraction. How about we stay home?"

James shook his head no, "I've booked. Come on, it will be fun."

"Okay. What are we gonna do and where?" Kendall gave up. The brunet was a big head and it's impossible to debate.

"We're going to gun shooting target practice," James smiled.

Kendall gulped, "Wow… It's so fucking hard to hang out with you, Mr. Diamond."

The brunet laughed, "It'll be fun I promise." He pressed the music player button, "Come on." He told Kendall the address. Kendall started to drive, heading out from the basement and hit the main road.

_ Kendall stared at Shane's grieve. The fresh flowers and the wind seemed supporting his mourning. _

_ Day by day, Kendall always spends his time on the cemetery. His Mom and friends tried their best to cheer him up but it's just a waste. None could heal the pain except Shane himself._

_ Kendall only knew the brunet for 2 weeks. He met him at the hospital, not a cool place to fall in love. He liked him more than he should and 3 days before Shane died, Kendall realized this wasn't an only crush. This feeling was so strong that he couldn't handle. He realized this feeling was too strong for just a friend and he knew for sure that Shane felt the same. _

_ This feeling is what people called love._

_ Kendall woke up on the fourth day of his mourning, felt nothing but the pain in his heart. _

_ It's only 8 am when he joined his Mom to eat breakfast. As much as he wanted to cry and drowned into the pain, Kendall realized he had his Mom and friends and they need him to get up. Fuck, was it so hard? _

_ "Honey," his Mom frowned, "Eat something, please." _

_ Kendall forced his lips to make a smile, "Sure. Sorry, I've been so messed up lately." He kissed his Mom's forehead, "I won't do that again I promise." _

_ His Mom nodded, "I understand. I'll cook your favorite food for dinner, okay?" _

_ He nodded, "Thanks, Mom." _

_ After breakfast, Kendall turned on the TV acted as usual as he was. His Mom already in peach blouse and brown skirt, she was ready to work. _

_ "Mom, is it okay if I call Logan, Carlos and Dustin to hang out here? I don't have a mood to go anywhere." Kendall asked._

_ "Of course," His Mom smiled, "I'll send pizza and burgers for lunch. Okay?" _

_ Kendall hugged his Mom before she walked out, "Cool! Thanks Mom." _

_ After sent his Mom to work, Kendall called his friends and they accepted happily. They've been waiting for Kendall cheer up for so long and it's a relief now he called them back._

_ They played video games that Carlos brought from home, watched movie and played music, a little practice time. They had a good time until someone knocked the door and brought a package for Kendall Knight. Logan was the one who opened the door. _

_ "Package for Kendall Knight," _

_ Kendall walked toward them. He didn't remember ordered something online, "For me?" he asked, "I don't order anything." _

_ The package guy nodded, "Yes. This is from…" he stopped for a while, reading his paper, "Shane Adams." _

_ Kendall froze. His brain started to replay everything that he tried to forget. _

_ Logan accepted the package when he saw Kendall just stood still and the guy looked confuse._

_ "Thanks."_

_ Carlos ran from the living room and touched Kendall's shoulder, "Kendall, dude." He called out._

_ Dustin and Logan looked at each other. Kendall didn't say anything. He just stared at the package blankly. _

_ Birthday Gift for Kendall Knight _

_ Kendall touched the package slowly. He started to open the box and his eyes locked into the brown guitar, the guitar that he'd been dreamt of. _

_ "Oh God," Logan closed his mouth, "Kendall…" _

_ Kendall smiled, tears falling down on his cheeks, "Shane…" he whispered, calling out the brunet's name, hand extended to touch the new guitar, brought it to his hug and closed his eyes._

_ Carlos couldn't help but cried along with Dustin and Logan. They hugged Kendall from the back, caressed the skinny boy who now crying out loud._

If Kendall was on one of action movie scenes, then here it was. He was the chick that waiting for someone to help her from the bad guy. He was the chick, that's obvious. Then James was the good guy with muscles and gun and all the actions to save Kendall.

"I don't know you enjoy gun shooting practice." Kendall stated when they both finally rested after two hours or so shooting the targets. He had a big zero point, none of his shoot caught the target when James did all of them perfectly.

James squeezed Kendall's shoulder, "You enjoy it, too."

"Uh huh," Kendall sighed, "I enjoy watching you." he corrected.

James chuckled. He took off the safety glasses and headphone, stretching the muscles that been tensed during the practice. Kendall stared at him in amazed, realized that the brunet was something from Heaven. He's too perfect to be true.

"What?" James frowned when he realized Kendall just sat still, staring at him without saying words.

The Adonis obviously not a human, not even close. Kendall shook his head, hiding the smile, "Nothing,"

James stood up, "Come on. It's getting late."

The twosome headed to the parking lot. Kendall threw his car key to James, the brunet caught it right in time, "I don't think I can use my arms…" he grinned.

James smirked, "Not a surprise, you did much." He gave a bold tone on much.

"Thanks," Kendall rolled his eyes, "I'm so hungry." He caressed the flat tummy.

"How if… dinner at my place?" James asked, the pink lips smiling, hazel eyes locking into the green eyes.

Kendall smiled, "This is a date."

James chuckled as he opened the door, "Don't be a dick. I try my best, Mr. Knight." He started to drive the car heading to the main road.

"I like it." Kendall put the seatbelt on, "I like go on date with you."

James smiled, "Thanks."

"What's your plan for tomorrow?" Kendall turned his body to facing the brunet.

James frowned as his brain tried to remember his schedule, "I have meetings and speech for seminar, it probably until 4. Why?"

"Good," Kendall felt satisfy, "Come to my band practice."

James' eyes widened, "You sure?"

"Yeah," Kendall nodded, "You've met them before. There's no difference."

James nodded as a yes, "Yeah why not? We can have dinner together with your band and Camille. She's dating Logan, right?"

"Uh huh," Kendall pulled his phone from the jeans pocket, "She'll be there,"

James sighed, "As long as… it's only your friends and Camille, I think I won't have problem."

Kendall caressed James' shoulder, "They won't say anything to anyone, I promise."

"I know," James nodded, eyes locking into the road, "I can't stop this and I know, neither you are."

Kendall leaned his head to give the brunet a soft kiss on the neck, James took a deep breathe.

"Kendall," he hissed.

The blond chuckled, "Sensitive, huh?"

James landed a soft punch on Kendall's thigh, "Fuck you."

Instead of punch the brunet back, Kendall locked their fingers together, "I'm sure James Diamond can drives with one hand, right?"

"I can do anything for you," James tighter their lock.

Kendall almost fainted when he saw James slid the gold card on the brown door. The number of the door that made him wanted to throw everything on his stomach.

111.

"Kendall?" James called his name when he realized the blond didn't follow him get into the apartment.

The skinny guy swallowed his saliva, tried his best to ignore the painful flashback, "Sorry." He entered the apartment along with the brunet.

James walked first, managed to the kitchen, "What do you want for dinner?"

Kendall threw himself on the black and soft couch, "Anything,"

"Pasta?" James asked.

"Yeah… yeah…" Kendall couldn't ignore the flashback anymore. He didn't even realize he already opened his hat and jacket.

_ "Why is everything numbered 111?" Kendall gave Shane back his drawing books. They both were on their hidden place, the roof._

_ Shane smiled, "111 is my lucky number." _

_ Kendall frowned, "Why?" _

_ "I don't know. I just… like how it looks like and… I feel lucky if I see them." _

James sat beside Kendall, eyes locking into the blond, worried, "Hey," he caressed Kendall's shoulder.

"Huh?" Kendall frowned.

"You talked in your sleep." James frowned, "What's wrong?"

Kendall shook his head, "Nothing. I… must be so tired. What was that?"

"Your talk?" James asked and Kendall just gave him a nod, "That's unclear. You just mumbled…"

Kendall sighed, "Thanks to you who make me tired today."

James laughed, he stood up and extended his hand signing Kendall to accept it, "Come on, dinner is ready."

Kendall couldn't concentrate during the dinner and James realized it.

"Seriously, what's wrong, Kendall?" James stopped eating.

"Huh?" Kendall blanked out.

James crossed his hands on the chest, "You distracted by something and it's really confusing."

"Sorry," Kendall released his hand, opened his palm and James wrapped their fingers, "I won't do that again."

James let out a soft uh huh as he didn't believe to what Kendall said, "Tell me or I'll kick your ass."

Kendall sighed, "It's… nothing."

"That's about… the guy who looks like me, right?" James guessed.

Why the brunet had to guess it right?

"Yeah," Kendall nodded, "He… his lucky number is 111, just like your room."

James gasped, his face showing the emotions that Kendall couldn't explain. There's surprise and confuse.

"Why?" Kendall asked. He really wanted to know why James had to show that reaction.

James bowed, staring at his plate which now still filed with half of the carbonarra, "Uh… It's my lucky number too."

Fuck.

James grabbed Kendall's hand, giving the soft cares on the back of his hand, "Sorry… I don't know."

Kendall nodded, "Don't say sorry, this isn't your fault."

"It isn't yours too," James' lips pulling into a beautiful smile, "Come on, finish our dinner then I'll show you something."

After finished their dinner, James brought Kendall to the other part of his luxury apartment. Kendall had no idea that the brunet has his own music studio. He had guitars, grand piano and even drum.

"I don't know you enjoy playing music." Kendall touched one of James' guitars, "I have one like this, the older version than you."

James smiled, "Guess I beat your guitar collection?"

"No, I still win." Kendall chuckled, "Seriously James, you just full of surprise."

The brunet just laughed. He walked toward the grand piano, "Come on, let's play something."

Kendall nodded, "What do you want to play?"

"Uh… do you know… It's now or never by Elvis?" James asked in a low tone as he wasn't sure that it's a good idea.

Kendall didn't give the brunet an answer but he started to pick the guitar, playing the song's intro. He started to sing the first part,

_It's now or never,_  
><em>come hold me tight<em>  
><em>Kiss me my darling,<em>  
><em>be mine tonight<em>  
><em>Tomorrow will be too late,<em>  
><em>it's now or never<em>  
><em>My love won't wait <em>

James following him to play the song with piano and sang along with him,

_When I first saw you_  
><em>with your smile so tender<em>  
><em>My heart was captured,<em>  
><em>my soul surrendered<em>  
><em>I'd spend a lifetime<em>  
><em>waiting for the right time<em>  
><em>Now that your near<em>  
><em>the time is here at last <em>

Kendall stopped playing the guitar, surprised by how perfect James' voice was, "I don't know you can sing really well!" he's so stoked.

James chuckled, turning to see Kendall over his shoulder, "Guess I surprised you more?"

Kendall stepped closer to the grand piano, "You do. You surprised me a lot."

"I take it as a compliment," James smiled, "Thank you."

The blond bowed and leaned his face to give James a kiss on his nose tip, "I like you more every day."

James put his hand around Kendall's waist, "I like you more too, Kendall Knight. Let's continue our duet."

"This is my honor to get duet with you, James Diamond." Kendall could feel his heart beating faster than usual as he seeing James started to play the piano again.

_It's now or never,_  
><em>come hold me tight<em>  
><em>Kiss me my darling,<em>  
><em>be mine tonight<em>  
><em>Tomorrow will be too late,<em>  
><em>it's now or never<em>  
><em>My love won't wait.<em>

_When I first saw you_  
><em>with your smile so tender<em>  
><em>My heart was captured,<em>  
><em>my soul surrendered<em>  
><em>I'd spend a lifetime<em>  
><em>waiting for the right time<em>  
><em>Now that your near<em>  
><em>the time is here at last.<em>

_It's now or never,_  
><em>come hold me tight<em>  
><em>Kiss me my darling,<em>  
><em>be mine tonight<em>  
><em>Tomorrow will be too late,<em>  
><em>it's now or never<em>  
><em>My love won't wait.<em>

_Just like a willow,_  
><em>we would cry an ocean<em>  
><em>If we lost true love<em>  
><em>and sweet devotion<em>  
><em>Your lips excite me,<em>  
><em>let your arms invite me<em>  
><em>For who knows when<em>  
><em>we'll meet again this way<em>

_It's now or never,_  
><em>come hold me tight<em>  
><em>Kiss me my darling,<em>  
><em>be mine tonight<em>  
><em>Tomorrow will be too late,<em>  
><em>it's now or never<em>  
><em>My love won't wait.<em>

(Elvis Presley – It's now or never)

Kendall couldn't ask for more. He felt grateful to how James always could heal the pain flashback of Shane even though mostly, it's the brunet who made the flashback came more was like the poison and antidote at the same time and Kendall felt the addiction of him. He was like nicotine.


	11. Chapter 11

_ Kendall Knight was only a 17 year old boy but he was one hundred or more sure that he's the only one who knew how it felt to be loved then left behind. He loved his Dad so much as much as he loved his Mom. He loved his friends so fucking bad like he couldn't spend a day without them. _

_ Then he loved Shane Adams so much, the boy who just passed away 10 days ago, the one whom Kendall met at the hospital 4 weeks ago, the brunet haired boy who made Kendall's life turning into 180 degrees. _

_ Kendall sat in front of the gray tomb written as Shane Adam's. It's a great day on November 12nd and the blond chose to spend it in a cemetery. He picked his guitar, playing a random sad song which just crossed on his mind._

_ "I have nothing great today. School just sucks as usual and my friends go hang out for bowling or something. I really have no mood doing anything except visit you like this." Kendall wiped his tears from his wet cheeks._

_ "Seriously, Shane, I really fucking hate you for everything. We only met for like 2 weeks but look at me you idiot! I waste my days for thinking and crying over you! I talk to a fucking grieve, talking to nothing!" Kendall cried._

_ He took a deep breathe, "I always crying and thinking about you. I hate you Shane…" _

_ Kendall tightened his hug to the guitar and let the tears fell down from the green eyes into the guitar's body, "I finished my song for you yesterday. Do you want to hear?" _

_ He waited for couple of minutes, pretending Shane talked to him, answering his question._

_ Kendall smiled, "Okay, don't laugh but… this is my song for you. I don't know what the title is… just figure it out yourself." _

_I don't remember what we might have said_  
><em>And I didn't bother to write it down any how<em>  
><em>Now all of the memories spun like a web<em>  
><em>And I can't get out, get out, get out<em>

_I gave everything I got not to lose you,_  
><em>We chose to say goodbye but I choose you<em>  
><em>I choose you<em>

_I keep building walls but you're always on my mind_  
><em>Won't let them fall down I'm tired can we give up<em>  
><em>the art of moving on, on, on.<em>

_It keeps me up all night, all night_

_Feels like I'm stuck here frozen in time_  
><em>If it wasn't real then I wonder what really is<em>  
><em>And if there's a world where you could be mine<em>  
><em>Well that's where I'd live, I'd live, I'd live<em>

_Gave everything not to lose you, not to lose you._

_I keep building walls but you're always on my mind_  
><em>Won't let them fall down I'm tired can we give up<em>  
><em>the art of moving on, on, on.<em>

_(Art of Moving On – Heffron Drive)_

_ Kendall chuckled as he kept wiping his tears away, "Fuck, that's so good right? Do you proud of me?"_

_ He placed the guitar next to him, resting his body and placing right hand under his head. Eyes locking into the clear sky, "Shane, do you hear me?" _

_ "I was thinking all night… I know I do something that you might be not proud of, but hey, this were all your faults, you dickhead!" Kendall closed his eyes and lips pulled into a smile, "I need to move on. I have to let you go." _

_ "This has nothing to do with me loving you or not, but… I want to make you proud. I always remember about your dream, about me singing on the stage with my band." _

_ "I want to make your dream come true, Shane." Kendall sat up, "I promise I will and I won't come back until I make it real." Kendall touched the top of the tomb, placing a kiss on that. _

"Mm… Kendall…" James softly pushed Kendall's body from him, "I have to work." He placed a gentle peck on his lover's pink lips. Lover? James wasn't sure about this relationship he had with Kendall.

The blond slept here. Literally, they only slept in the same bed nothing more. James wasn't ready for sex yet and he wasn't sure whether he wanted it with Kendall or not. That was a big deal for him and Kendall knew it. He appreciated and respected James' decision. Then again, Kendall still need more time to think his feelings. Yes, Kendall couldn't deny he loved being here with James but he still thinking about Shane and his painful flashback.

Kendall groaned, "Don't go," he bend over to kiss James' neck, "You smell so fucking good in the morning."

"Mm…" James nodded, closing his eyes, "I almost late." The brunet locked his fingers on Kendall's messy hair. The blond didn't bother himself to stop his actions but torturing James even more instead. He started to bite and suck James' neck.

"Kendall," James moaned his name in a short breathe, "Please stop or I'll hate you forever."

The blond laughed, he raised his head to see James clearer, "Can you?"

"No," James chuckled, he pulled Kendall's face closer then kissed his lips, "I'll see you this afternoon, 'kay?"

Kendall nodded, "Okay," he kissed the brunet back, "but don't wear your sexy clothes. My friends will turn to be gay too."

James laughed really loud, "You're too much."

"No," Kendall took his shirt from the floor, "You are. You are the Greek God who has the ability to make people love you in one sight."

James raised an eyebrow, "Wow I don't know you admiring me that much, Kendall." he started to do his baby pink shirt's buttons while Kendall just sat on the edge of his bed watching him.

"Uh huh," Kendall smirked.

James walked toward his closet and back with a navy dot tie, "You want to stay here?"

Kendall stood up and walked closer until their toes touched each other, "Nope," he grabbed the tie from James' hand and do that for the brunet, "Can I?" he asked.

James smiled, "Yes."

Never, not even once in his life, Kendall had a thought he would be doing something like this. It's 8 o'clock in the morning and he just woke up in James' bed and seeing the brunet get ready for work. Now he did the brunet's tie.

"It's good," James learned his look on the standing mirror, "You're good at tie."

Kendall smiled, "I'm good at everything."

"No," James disagree, "You're not a morning person. I'm sure you won't wake up if it wasn't me who woke you up."

Kendall shrugged, "You and your bed are perfection." He took his jeans from the couch, "Do you really that late? I mean this only 8 and you are the CEO, it wasn't a big deal if you come a bit late."

James rolled his eyes, "I am a good CEO," he sprayed some perfume over his neck, "but I do have 30 minutes for breakfast. What do you want?"

Kendall smiled, "Good. I'll make sandwich." After that the blond just ran out from James' bedroom leaving James who now laughing.

Camille jumped into Kendall's hug once the petite girl saw Kendall walked in the studio, "I miss you!" she screamed.

Logan and the rest of band members just laughed seeing two best friends hugging each other.

"I miss you too," Kendall placed a soft kiss on Camille's cheek.

Kendall took off his backpack and placed it on the couch. He gave Logan, Dustin and Carlos a paper.

"New song?" Carlos' eyes widened, "Wow… James Diamond makes your brain working really well. Did you realize that you make 3 songs within a week?"

Kendall rolled his eyes, "This has nothing to do with him, 'Los."

"Uh huh," Dustin mocked, "This has something to do with his dick."

Camille laughed so hard, "Oh God! This is hilarious. You and my cousin dating is one of the best things I've ever know."

"Guys," Kendall felt irritating, "First of all, me and him are not dating… yet. We haven't figured it out. Second, this isn't about his dick. Me and him… we're not getting into that part… yet." He sighed.

None say anything.

Kendall cleared his throat, "I don't want to talk about my sexual life with you idiots. Ever,"

Logan chuckled, "Okay…"

"And," Kendall raised his point finger as a sign that he wanted everyone in this room listening to him, "He'll come today after work, I want all of you…" he stared to each of them, "Including you, Camille, to behave. I respect him a lot so…"

Dustin put his hand around Kendall's shoulder, "Chill… we're not a 5 year old boy, Kendall."

Carlos chuckled, "You worry too much."

"Aw…" Camille pinched his stomach, "You two are too darn cute."

Kendall rolled his eyes and walked out from his annoying best friends toward the practice room, "Whatever," he hissed.

The band spent 2 hours of practice before the break. Kendall felt satisfy because his newest song, Happy Mistakes, was way better with the band rather than he played alone with only a guitar.

Carlos was right. James was the one who made his brain working well lately. Kendall didn't know why and how the brunet did that, but he was sure that James inspired him more and more every day.

He checked his phone, there's an email from James Diamond. Kendall had no idea why James chose to email rather than text or call him. Maybe he needs a pre-dating 101 book.

From : James Diamond

To : Kendall Knight

Subject : information

Time : May, 22nd, 2014 03:17:05 PM

Dear Mr. Knight,

The meetings and seminar went faster than I expected. I just got home and in the middle of getting ready to meet my favorite person on his studio right now. I guess I'll see you in 30 minutes.

Sincerely,

James Diamond

CEO of Diamond Enterprise

Holy. Crap.

Even in an email, James was still fucking hot and intimidating.

Kendall rushed to reply the brunet's email,

To : James Diamond

From : Kendall Knight

Subject : sexy email

Time : May, 22nd, 2014 03: 17: 55 PM

Dear Mr. Diamond,

Shit you're sexy as fuck! Come here immediately so I can give you tons of kisses. Take whatever your fastest ridebefore I kiss someone else!

Sincerely,

Kendall Knight

Your Sexy Random Guy

"Holy shit!" that's all Kendall heard from Carlos' mouth. Kendall had no idea what made the Latino couldn't stop staring at the outside but now, he knew.

James.

His fucking lover or whatever!

He wore a pale blue Polo shirt and black jeans that hanging on his waist perfectly. Holy shit, was he a model or something?

Camille was the one who opened the door, "James!" she greeted her cousin, giving the tan and tall guy a warm hug.

"Camille," James greeted her, placed a soft kiss on her cheek, "How are you?" he asked politely.

Logan elbowed Kendall, "He's here." He whispered.

Kendall rolled his eyes, "I have eyes, thanks, Logge."

James looked into everyone in the studio including Carlos who still staring at James' car, "Hi Guys." He greeted them.

Dustin raised his hand awkwardly, "Hi, James."

James nodded, "How's the practice?"

"Great," Logan took the initiative to give James' a warm shook on hand and a hug, "How are you, Dude?"

While James, Logan and Camille talking. Kendall made himself way to the bar, took soda and some snacks.

"Kendall!" Carlos suddenly stood next to him, "Did you know how much his car price is? It's fucking expensive and he just drive it here… holy shit!"

The blond chuckled, "He is James Diamond, Carlos."

"Fuck," Carlos couldn't help himself. The Latino loved about gadget and vehicles and the car that James drove today, Aston Martin Vanquish, was one of his dream cars. So that's why he couldn't get over the amazement.

Kendall touched Carlos' shoulder, "Come on, stop drooling and have conversation with him."

Dustin was joining Logan and James over the conversation when Kendall got there. The brunet turned his head to see Kendall and Kendall sat next to him. As much as Kendall wanted to jump and kiss him, he forced himself to not doing that. It's a stupidity and would be smacking James in the face.

"I actually made a reservation for dinner," James stated, "The bistro pretty close from here."

Carlos nodded in agreement, "Great! Where is it?"

"Bouchon," James answered. He looked to his watch, "We can go now if you guys don't mind…"

Camille stood up, "Yeah, it's almost 7…" she took her hand bag from the couch and signing others to get out from the studio.

Kendall put his hand around James' waist made the brunet shocked, "You doing great."

James felt uncomfortable. It wasn't PDA but he didn't expecting Kendall do something that sign his friends that they're a thing, "Thanks."

"They're my friends," Kendall whispered, "I just hug your waist and that wasn't a big deal. Chill."

James shrugged, "Guess… I'm lack of experiences about this." He smiled.

Kendall chuckled, "Come on!"

The dinner went great and everyone had a good time. Dustin and Carlos finally could break the awkwardness with James and now three of them were like buddy.

"We can surf and have lunch at my home sometime," James smiled, "I'd like to invite all of you to Venice."

"Wow!" Carlos couldn't hide his happiness, "That will be great! How about this weekend?"

James nodded, "Weekend is great," he turned his head to Kendall, "You can asked Jo too."

"She'll loves it," Kendall could imagine Jo's face when she heard this plan, "She's one of your fans."

James' eyebrow raised, "What?"

Camille laughed, "Every girl does,"

"Can you show me your cars?" Carlos asked in a please tone, black eyes staring to James like a child.

James chuckled, "Of course, Carlos."

"Cool!"

"How we get there? We don't know your home." Dustin asked.

Camille shook her head, "I know. Let's take my van!"

While James and his best friends talked about their plan on weekend, Kendall just stared at the brunet. He really glad that James could get along with his friends, even at first there's awkwardness between them, but as time's past, they finally had a real talk as a friend.

"We can drive or…" James turned his head to Kendall, "How about all of you gathered on my office, we can take my Eurocopter."

Carlos' eyes widened even more, Kendall worried it could pass from its place, "Whoa… Can I be your co-pilot?"

James chuckled, found Carlos' excitement as a funny thing, "Of course you're very welcome, Carlos!"

Camille grabbed Kendall's hand under the table, "You mean a lot to him, Kendall, and I'm thank you for that." she smiled, her eyes watery, "I've never seen he's this happy, not even once."

Kendall smiled. Deep in his minds, he felt the familiar feelings, the mixture of worry, guilt and wary. The feelings which he felt fear of broke James' heart for his confusion.

James drove Kendall to his home in Hummingbird Hills. Kendall took off the seatbelt and waiting James did the same thing but yet James didn't do that.

"You won't come in?" Kendall asked.

The brunet shook his head, "No. I'm not ready to tell my colleague that I'm gay and I'm hanging out with her son."

Kendall chuckled, "She's not home."

"Really?" James asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, she stayed at grandma's today."

James shrugged, "Uh… how if your neighbor saw us?"

"Then what?" Kendall opened the door, "Come on, none will see us!"

After a second of thinking, James finally took off the seatbelt and followed Kendall to get into his house. Kendall threw his backpack into the couch and made his way to the kitchen.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"Are you always throwing your backpack like that?" James asked in a shock.

Kendall chuckled, "Is that a bad thing?"

"Maybe," James pulled on of the stools, "I never see a 21 year old young man act like a 5 year old boy."

Kendall sat next to him, "You're only 23, James. Stop acting like you're my Dad."

"Alright," James chuckled, "Do you have a red wine?"

"Yeah," Kendall took the sodas from the fridge, "But you already have Pinot Noir at the dinner. I don't want you to get drunk and fuck me tonight."

James laughed, "I never get drunk, Kendall."

"Uh huh because you're super human," Kendall felt sarcastic, "Let's get into my room."

James frowned, "Why?"

"I want you to see my favorite place," Kendall stared at James in a suspicious way, "Do you think I will rape you or something?"

James rolled his eyes, "God Kendall," he groaned, "Stop teasing me! That's really childish!"

Kendall chuckled and pulled the brunet, signing him to follow him to his room and James still mocking next to him.

It's always fun to tease the elder guy.

The blond opened the door, waited on the side and signed James to get in first. James got into his room and looked around, pink lips parting and pulling into a smile.

"I like your room."

Kendall put his hand around James' shoulder, "This is not a luxury room like yours, but here is where all of my dreams come true."

James turned his body, facing Kendall's, "What about your dream with me?"

"I was here when we had our first call, so… yeah, you're one of them." He stepped closer, closing the distance.

James smiled, "Good,"

"What about me?" Kendall asked him back, their lips were closer, "Do I one of your dreams?"

The brunet shook his head, "No."

Kendall felt his heart broke, "What?"

"You're not my dream, Kendall." James cupped the younger male's face, "You are real," One of his hands down to grab Kendall's hand, placing it in James' chest, "This is real."

Kendall's eyes widened.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

"I…" Kendall stuttered, "I don't know what to say James…"

James nodded, "I know. I don't know either."

Kendall brought their lips together in a frenzy moving lovely way. Fuck about what's going between them, both of the males just cared about what they needed and what they had now.

Kendall parked his car on the decent spot at Diamond Global Enterprise building. Once he turned off the car, Jo, Dustin and Carlos got off from the car. Next to his car was Logan's, he and Camille were already here.

"Where's he?" Camille asked.

Kendall pulled out his phone from jeans pocket, "He probably on the roof. Come on." He signed his best friends to follow him.

They were going to Venice today, visited James' house. Based on what Camille said about James never brought anyone to his private home before was more confusing for Kendall. The fact that it was James himself who invited all of Kendall's friends to visit his house was felt so unreal. If he didn't like anyone visited his private home, then why he invited Kendall's friends?

"Maybe because you meant a lot to him." that's what Jo said.

Kendall was really afraid to think about that more because if so, what he supposed to do? Dumping James wasn't a great idea but accepting all his kindness and lovely actions wasn't either.

His phone rang. It's James who called.

"Yeah?" Kendall answered the call.

"Where are you?"

Kendall signed his friends to get into the elevator, "In front of elevator."

"Alright, I'm on the roof with Tom, checking in Euro. See you soon, Kendall Knight."

Damn. Kendall always loves how James saying his name. It always sounds sexier than it supposed to be.

"How many helicopters James have?" Carlos asked.

Camille chuckled, "4. He got his first helicopter when he's 18."

"Wow."

Jo checking her reflection on the mirror, "Does he always do this?"

"Do what?" Camille followed her checking her reflection.

"Invite his lover's friends to his house. I thought it was his private home." Jo applied her pink lip gloss.

"It is," Camille nodded, "Actually, he never asked me to visit his house before but I guess someone just changed him…" she turned to see Kendall.

Kendall rolled his eyes, "Shut up!"

"Come on, Kendall!" Camille punched him, "You better ask him what's going on between you guys. Don't you think this all weird? I mean, you both obviously falling in love each other."

Logan nodded in agreement with his girlfriend, "Yeah. This is weird. You and him always together, kissing and probably fucking but none of you know what's going on."

Dustin put his hand around Kendall's shoulder, "Dude, it's been a month."

Kendall was about to open his mouth to respond but the ring on the elevator stopped him and the doors were opened. Logan walked out first then Camille followed him.

"Good morning, Miss Roberts." Tom greeted her, "Good morning, Sir."

Camille smiled to him, "Good morning, Tom. How are you?"

"I'm doing fine, thank you, Miss." Tom smiled, he turned to Kendall, "Good morning, Mr. Knight."

Kendall frowned but he gave the old man a nod, "Good morning."

"Mr. Diamond is waiting for all of you. Please follow me."

Carlos grabbed Camille's hand, "Are you sure Diamond family is not a royal family or something?"

"Of course not," she chuckled, "I've told you, his family is a very formal family."

The Eurocopter was standing greatly in its place and the owner was standing next to him in his blue jeans and white unbuttoned shirt.

"Holy shit Kendall!" Jo whispered, "If he wasn't your potential boyfriend, I would run to him and forget about Shay."

Kendall rolled his eyes, "Geez… just go and jump into his muscular body."

"Can I?"

Kendall glared in disbelief. How dare Jo stabbing him from the back? Otherwise, Jo just laughed, "Chill! I just adored him as a fan. I mean, look at him Kendall… he looks like modeling his clothes, doing a James Bond's photo shoot or something."

James smiled at them, "Hi, everyone."

Tom handing him a small bag, "Here's your bag, Sir."

"Thank you, Tom." he nodded to the assistant, "Tom, please meet my friends."

Tom nodded and bowed his head, "Hello. I'm Tom Peterson, Mr. Diamond's personal assistant. My pleasure to meet everyone,"

Everyone greeted him back.

After a short chit-chat with Tom like introducing each other, the old man excused and each of them got into the Euro. Carlos was more than excited for a fact that he would be James' co-pilot today.

Kendall placed a gentle peck on James' lips before he got into the Euro, "See you in the next hour."

James smiled, "See you soon!"

Kendall nodded then he got into the Euro, his friends already there and staring at him, their face smiling and awing. Kendall pouted, "What?"

Jo chuckled, "You two are cute."

Nothing better than having a great day with your friends and that's how Kendall felt today. He rested his body on the palm tree, dried himself with a towel while his eyes still watching James surfed with Carlos, Logan and Dustin. Jo and Camille on the other side, sunbathing.

"Hey," James walked toward him then take a place to sit next to him, "Tired already?"

Kendall shook his head, "No. It's way more fun to just watch you surfing."

"Come on," James grabbed Kendall's hand, "Let's hit more waves."

"Nope," Kendall shook his head, "I need break," he finally admitted that he was tired.

James smiled, "Not tired my ass… let's take lunch break then we'll go skydiving. How about that?"

"What?" Kendall's eyes widened, "God, hanging out with you make me have more adrenaline rush experiences."

James laughed, "That's fun."

The brunet already hired a chef to cook their lunch. All of them were enjoyed the lunch, they were really hungry after spent 2 or 3 hours playing at the beach. All of them back to James' house.

"Give me your cars' tour!" Carlos squeaked like a 5 year old boy who wants toys.

James nodded, "Sure. Come on, buddy."

Dustin and Logan followed James and Carlos to the brunet's basement where he collected all of his luxury cars and Kendall chose to rest on the couch with Jo and Camille.

"You seemed distracted," Jo stated, "What happened?"

Kendall shook his head, "Nothing."

"Liar," Camille pouted, "You can't tell us a lie, Kendall. We both know."

Jo agreed to her, "Now speak."

Kendall had no choice except to tell the girls everything. "I'm so confuse," he started, "I like hanging out with him. I like how I spend my times with him. James is like addiction."

"But every time I have the great moments with him, Shane always comes back and that's torturing me. It's fucking hurts and I don't know either I really like James or I just like him because he and Shane are too similar."

Jo frowned, she touched Kendall's hand, "They just look alike, Kendall."

"No," Kendall shook his head, he hadn't told her about their similarities, "Not only their face but also their character, their ways to treat me, their hobbies, their…"

Fuck. This was too hard for him to remember all of James and Shane's similarities.

"They both…" he gulped, "They both like spend their mean time at the roof because the feel when it's only him and the sky and the quietness. Their lucky number is 111. They both had a pair of beautiful deep hazel eyes and soft brunet hair. They…" Kendall stopped. He didn't think he could finish this talk.

Camille wiped her tears, "You know… you don't have to finish if it's too hard for you. We understand."

Jo kissed his cheek, "There must be a difference between James and Shane, Kendall. Remember, they are not a same person."

Kendall smiled, "Yeah, thanks guys."

"I'll ask Tom to pick us up so you and James can spend a night here, just both of you. Take this time to talk about your relationship with him." Camille smiled.

Kendall nodded, "Thanks, Cam."

The skydiving plan was failed because the wind was too dangerous so they chose to get back to James' house. Camille already called Tom to pick them and she also told the boys about her plan.

"James," Camille called her cousin while they just got home.

The brunet turned to see her, "Yes?"

"Can I have a second with you?" she signed him to follow her to the kitchen. James nodded then followed her.

Kendall and the others were watching movie on the living room and Camille was sure they couldn't hear them.

"What's wrong, Camille?" James opened the fridge, took a bottle of water to fill him up.

Camille sat on the stool, "What's going on between you and Kendall?"

"What?" James almost choked, "What do you mean?"

"Stop denying, James. I know you love him." Camille grumbled, "I know you want what's on his pants."

James' eyes widened, "That's rude, Miss Roberts"

"You know what I mean."

James sighed, "I… yeah, I like him a lot. Love? I don't know, that's a big deal to love someone."

"And?" Camille waited the next statement.

"And… I don't know. I don't know either we're dating or not but…" James looked really confuse, "I don't know."

Camille smiled, "You know it. Deep in your heart, you know it but you're afraid of rejection. You afraid of how Kendall's feel, you're afraid to what other people think about you and him. You're afraid to how if your parents know that you're gay."

James nodded, "That's right."

"Stop worrying something that hasn't happened and just enjoy the moments you have with him. If you love him then let him know," she gave her cousin a courageous.

James took a deep breathe, "What if… he didn't feel the same with me?"

"You're so fucking idiot if you think like that," Camille mumbled, she didn't realize that she just mocking James Diamond.

"I… uh…" James was speechless.

Camille sighed, "He's into you, James. God, you have too much work until you didn't realize that guy was really into you."

"If so… why he didn't tell me?"

Camille shrugged, "What if he's confused?"

James sighed, "Because I look alike his past?"

"You know about that?" Camille's eyes widened, "He told you?"

James nodded, "He told me that I look alike someone in his past but… who is he? Is he his boyfriend?"

Camille smiled, "This is not my place to tell about that. I called Tom to pick us up, you'll have time with Kendall alone. Tell him, James, so he has courageous to tell you the same."

Kendall sat on the pool side, soaked his feet on the jacuzzi felt the warm up over to his body. James came with a bottle of red wine and glasses.

"Thanks," Kendall accepted one of the glasses, "What is it?"

James showed him a bottle, "One of my favorites, Penfolds Grange 1951."

Kendall took another shoot, "This must be an expensive red wine," he smiled to the brunet who joined him in the Jacuzzi, "You always have the best."

"Thanks," James stared at his glass, "Kendall, I want to ask something."

Kendall nodded, "Ask me everything,"

James wrapped their fingers together, "Who is the guy who looks like me?"

Kendall shocked. He didn't expecting this question would finally questioned by James, not this soon.

"He is Shane Adams. I met him 5 years ago at Los Angeles Children's Hospital when I had atypical depression."

James' eyes widened, "Kendall…"

"I had depression because my Dad was died." Kendall tighter the wrap, "I couldn't help myself because I loved him so much. He and my Mom meant the world to me, and 16 year old Kendall couldn't let him go."

James' hand pulled Kendall's body closer, caressing his back.

"We met at the park. I accidentally crashed him and we both fell on the ground," Kendall learned James' face who now shocked to what he just said, "Yes, same with how we met."

"He had a pair of beautiful deep hazel eyes like yours and both of you have the same soft brunet hair. It surprising me that there's two people who look alike in this world. You and him are not only look alike, both of you are the same person."

"We met every single day. I liked how he always happy and acts like nothing happened while he had the last stage of Leukemia. I only spent a week there and during that week, I… I fall in love with him. I admitted I like him so fucking much four days later, that's why I understand when you said you like me."

James nodded. The brunet didn't cut Kendall off, he gave the blond time.

"My last night stayed at the hospital, I kissed him and told him that I love him because I really did. I loved him so much even though we only together for a week but I do. Although I was back to my home, I always come to the hospital every day only to see him, only to spend my time with him, only to make myself laugh with all his happiness and silliness. It was the greatest times I've ever had until… he died after called me, after told me his birthday wishes. He died on my birthday."

Kendall couldn't help himself. He didn't bother himself to wipe his tears or even stop talking. He just wanted James knew. Now or never.

"I was so shocked and sad that day. I don't even know how to describe my feelings but all I know that… I really hate him for a fact that he left me without good bye, without giving me chances to prepare myself."

James closed his eyes, "You don't have to tell the whole story,"

"I want," Kendall nodded, "I want you to know."

James cupped Kendall's face, "Alright, but… if this is too hard for you, just stop okay?"

Kendall smiled, "I promise. Can I continue?"

"Yes please,"

"Day by day, I felt like a living zombie and hurt people around me. I ignored my Mom, Carlos, Logan, Dustin and Jo. They all tried their best to cheer me up but I just locked myself in my room, crying over Shane. 4 days later, I remembered what Shane told me about I have to learn how to let people go and I realized if I kept acting like that, he would really mad so I cheered up myself, I'm back as a normal person. Hours later, someone knocked the door and that's a package guy. There's a package from Shane Adams for Kendall Knight."

Kendall took a deep breathe, remembering the Shane Adams story made his heart and brain in pain, "It's the guitar, the one that… same with yours."

"Oh God…"

"I have to say that you bring the pain back but you heal it at the same time," Kendall touched James' face, "I know you are not him but with all similarities you both have, it's hard for me to not thinking about him when I'm with you."

James pressed their forehead together, "I know. I understand, Kendall."

"That's why it's so fucking hard for me to figure out how I feel about you. I know I like you so much but…"

James cut Kendall's words with a kiss, the passionate and crazy kiss that they never had before, the kiss which was proved that James didn't hold anymore.

"I love you, Kendall Knight." James whispered between their lips, "I won't go anywhere. I'll be waiting for you to love me back."

Kendall shook his head, eyes still closed, "You don't have to wait because right now, I'm ready to tell you that I love you, James Diamond."


End file.
